Why do we sabotage ourselves ???????
Hi all,
reading a few of the posts here, I see other people with the same affliction as me - that is we can eat and drink really well, do all the right things for so long and then - CRASH - we fall from our smug little perches and find ourselves eating all the wrong things again.
IT DRIVES ME MAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [:@]
Does anyone have any insight into why we do this ? Of course it applies to other things, not just eating and drinking.... smoking, gambling, shopping.
I know the junk foods and addictive foods are doing me harm, but I still drift back into their evil clutches !
Can my taste buds have such control over my mind ?!?
I guess some of it is biochemical, and the physiological hit that we get from the sugar for example, is very powerful - but is that all there is to it ??
Any feedback on this I would be so pleased to read .....................
Love Ru xx
Answers:
Oh no Ru, you must have seen me tucking into my chocolate! :)
Answers:
i was just thinking the same thing[&o]
I re-read a few JV chapters last night because i tried a size 14 shirt on in topshop yesturday and it was too tight across my boobs[&o]. I have NEVER been this big.
So anyway i read some chapters and felt really fired up about my next day of change.
This morning I had a smoothie for breaky- very good.
But dinnertime I really craved for chips and cheese!??? So i gave in and had two granary baps with oven chips and grated cheese on them.
I have just been to the gym and I weighed myself. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I wasnt even this heavy when I was having Meg[&o]
Soo ive just come back and had a fresh, nutritious stir fry with all beansprouts and grated carrots and cabbage and quorn pieces, ginger and garlic!
But, why cant I be motivated all of the time????
Tx
Answers:
Glad I'm not the only one girls !!
Anyone out there got any answers ????!!!
Please !!!!!!!!!!!
Love Ru xx
Answers:
Ooooh dear, today I have had a jam donut, a chocolate eclair and a bar of chocolate. I NEVER NEVER NEVER eat like this. But hey, I think a bit of what you fancy does you good (mentally, probably not physically) and makes you a bit more relaxed about it all. I don't get into a panic about it because I know I'll get back on track when I have had a little splurge now and then. I think we can become obsessive about it, my theory is that as long as you are doing well most of the time, then it's OK to stray now and then. I still feel like a fat pig today though!
Lucy
Answers:
I was just thinking about how I ate a year ago, and realised that my diet overall is much better than it was then.
And then I remembered this quote which is quite relevant ........
Success is the sum of small efforts,
that you repeat day in and day out.
Many people take the first step and then stop.
Yet, with every additional step you take,
you enhance immensely the value of your first step.
All masters of success are chiefly distinguished
by their power of adding a second, a third,
and perhaps a forth step in a continuous line.
There is no royal road to anything.
One thing at a time, all things in succession is the rule of life.
That which grows fast, withers as rapidly.
That which grows slowly, endures.
Do not despise the bottom rungs in your ascent to greatness.
So perhaps we are too hard on ourselves !
Love Ru xx
Answers:
In reply to your original question:
So we can do the Self Fulfilling Prophecy that says:
"There, you did it again, you knew you would"
And then we have the perfect excuse for beating ourselves over the head, just like we always do ......... ;-)
It helps us stay the same.
Holistic
Answers:
There could be a number of reasons. First perhaps the regime that you are on could be just too hard to follow all the time. Secondly, you have to assess the reasons you have for wanting to lose weight and thirdly what do you have to keep the motivation up?
When you decide to lose weight you have to look at every part of your life and being. Sounds all airy fairy I know but there is something in it. If you want to lose it because you don't like the way you look, think about exactly why you don't like the way look. Then there are health issues. Is your weight now at a dangerous level? Are you heading that way? Remember a "diet" is not just for Christmas...so to speak! changing your eating habits is hard if you have enjoyed eating what you wanted over a long space in time. But it is not impossible. Remember also to set aside a day where you treat yourself. One day where you have your favourite meal or snack. May sound strange but don't try too hard - that is if you do push yourself too hard you are setting yourself up for a fall. Non of us are superwomen, was are women who like to endulge. But just remember when to stop, and don't let you be the reason for falling off the wagon.
So many people eat out of boredom and stress. If this is the case with you, assess in yourself what makes you stresses and why are you bord. Look for other ways to distract you from these feelings. Stress and comfort eating go hand and hand even though to the person they are enemies (make sence?). Be the ruler of your body, don't let it rule you.
When you do really know your reasons for wanting to lose weight, don't forget them, focus on them, esp when you are getting an urge.
You know deep down that you can do it.
Jac
xxx
Answers:
Love what you your quote Ruminumi.
I have printed it off . I am going to a slimming club tonight, I have joined time and time again and last week I was asked why I sabatage my diet all the time. I am going to take it slow this time and take the scenic route I have tried the motorway and given in every time.
Answers:
Why do people sabotage their diets? IMHO that is because they have something to lose if they stick to the diet. Find out what you're giving up in your life by sabotaging your plans to stay slim, and you'll have the key to staying slim.
Answers:
I think if we could answer this problem there would be no fat people in this world, so pass. I just know that I do it because I comfort myself when I am down, and instead of trying to work out why I am down I feed my unhappiness. Well that was then and this is now, I have just joined SW for the umpteenth time, and have a totaly different approach to it, I have also just finished seeing my counsellor and am really trying so hard to make this year different. So far so good [sm=dance.gif]
Lotsaluv Misha xxx
Answers:
sabotage !. . .okay this is for die hard sabotagers only - its a long one - go grab a .. an adams ale ! :-)
Ooh & why do you think i have been avoiding the nutrition threads :-)
no wheat ..no sugar etc .. .. hmmmn . . I've been in denial !
So after having a few dreadful weeks eating even more wheat & sweet goodies - than ever before.!
I guess i can only liken/consider sabotage to that faithful companion,
the naughty friend - whom you know if you play with for too long you'll end up in heaps of trouble !
Its an emotional relationship !
Its a habit , its a prop its all the things a best friend should be when she's not around. Its all teh things a lover should be . . . cosy..relaxing..soothing...
its what we make it
Mine ..both friend & lover ..I may sound crazy but think of thought patterns
associated . . Ooh nice treat . .I'll relax , watch a dvd..have a nice drink, ooh have a bar of choccie, bag of crisps whatever the supposed treat
( treat is the last thing it is !! )
Or then theres - meet friends for a meal, have friends around for a meal, meal = friends, pleasure . Its definately the association we impress upon what pleasure food brings as opposed to scientifically what is does nutrtionally.
Now after sussing out a bad relationship - its now time to dump the relationship & all ties. Thats the hard bit . .any other relationship we break free, dont go to the same places, avoid the ex etc tec...with food we have to have it, Thus transference of need, transference of thoughts/associations
is vital..unless thought pattern is broken & needs recognised its a sure fail cycle.
Thats the hard part for me - breaking a long established friend yet even though i know when i eat chocolate my skin will break out, i will have a headache, i will feel lethargic afterwards & yes i will put on weight.
When i eat nutritionally balanced I feel great . .and if i keep really really busy & avoid the old haunts . .coffe & piece of cake, a dvd, pc all places that i would socialise & snack ( at home vi work/study ) I feel good & look better have zillions more energy.
So we all know the problems, the answers . . . but sabotage will continue until decisiveness , strength & focused minds prevail . . No ... No .. No
Thats what i keep thinking - thats the problem as i think . .no. . i will snack
So its not thinking its doing . . which means organisation...discipine...positive thoughts....
like ooh No thank you I dont eat wheat, sugar choclate crisps
whatever
transferring the love & affection to fresh natural goodness
- i mean we wouldnt admire the smell of a bottle of flavouring, preservatives & colouring the same as we would fresh english strawberrys.
So - anyone for sabotage sabbatical !! ?
Today after I have had fruit for breakfast
then some whole nut as i was studying i thought ENOUGH !!
anyone fancy a journey a sabotage sabbatical
I will post a new thread - we can share the emotional aspect of renewing our existing feindships with the calorific fiends - lets face it they're not freinds at all, & worse we're not a very good friend to ourselves
How many of us encourage our children,partners, friends, clients to eat soo sensibly & cutout this that & the other.
Its out time now . . . anybody fancy suporting me on my natural nutrtion quest , . . especially when our families - have basically - heard it all before ! For me it is & it is not about weight - its about getting back in control, when food is neither here nor there - and i can eat what i choose
as what i choose to eat is pure goodness to maintain my health to its optimum possibilities which with hypo-thyroid problems is challenging !!
Soz its been along one..but maybe waning moon & all its the best time to detox & get going ! :-)
Answers:
Hi Pre and all,
Some very good points. Yes, what does food mean to us? If it was a friend, what would that friend represent for us? We can let go only if we first listen to both the "sensible" and the "needy" side. Do we REALLY believe that we deserve to look/feel better? On the long run? For me, when I go for the "wrong" foods it is usually when I am looking for "comforting" of some sort. If I am aware of it, I can consciously choose to do something else to comfort myself. Of course, it does not work 100% of the time, but that's part of being human!!
Artemis
Answers:
Perana I like what you say. That has given me somthing to think about.[sm=scratchchin.gif]
Answers:
ah brilliant Artemis - thats about being back in control ..bet that feels good & yes part of being human is having/wanting little treats /naughties - when we choose to thats fine ..its when we cant stop - thats when the relationship becomes a problem, the need becomes great & then a whole range or emotional roller coaster rides can begin - - ooh i feel guilty , shouldnt, wish i'd, why ? ect etc and of course if somebody tries to help & be supportive - eg. by saying
"oooh should you really eat that then, if youre trying to cut it out" !!
- now if the response is - "you're right darling ..temp. blip, weak willed moment - thank you "
or a
"G r r r r r -, you have one, its only one "
feeling/thinking how dare they, :D
then its a relationship , its a problem & boy what discoveries to make !
Its a wake up call for sure.
reading a few of the posts here, I see other people with the same affliction as me - that is we can eat and drink really well, do all the right things for so long and then - CRASH - we fall from our smug little perches and find ourselves eating all the wrong things again.
IT DRIVES ME MAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [:@]
Does anyone have any insight into why we do this ? Of course it applies to other things, not just eating and drinking.... smoking, gambling, shopping.
I know the junk foods and addictive foods are doing me harm, but I still drift back into their evil clutches !
Can my taste buds have such control over my mind ?!?
I guess some of it is biochemical, and the physiological hit that we get from the sugar for example, is very powerful - but is that all there is to it ??
Any feedback on this I would be so pleased to read .....................
Love Ru xx
Answers:
Oh no Ru, you must have seen me tucking into my chocolate! :)
Answers:
i was just thinking the same thing[&o]
I re-read a few JV chapters last night because i tried a size 14 shirt on in topshop yesturday and it was too tight across my boobs[&o]. I have NEVER been this big.
So anyway i read some chapters and felt really fired up about my next day of change.
This morning I had a smoothie for breaky- very good.
But dinnertime I really craved for chips and cheese!??? So i gave in and had two granary baps with oven chips and grated cheese on them.
I have just been to the gym and I weighed myself. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I wasnt even this heavy when I was having Meg[&o]
Soo ive just come back and had a fresh, nutritious stir fry with all beansprouts and grated carrots and cabbage and quorn pieces, ginger and garlic!
But, why cant I be motivated all of the time????
Tx
Answers:
Glad I'm not the only one girls !!
Anyone out there got any answers ????!!!
Please !!!!!!!!!!!
Love Ru xx
Answers:
Ooooh dear, today I have had a jam donut, a chocolate eclair and a bar of chocolate. I NEVER NEVER NEVER eat like this. But hey, I think a bit of what you fancy does you good (mentally, probably not physically) and makes you a bit more relaxed about it all. I don't get into a panic about it because I know I'll get back on track when I have had a little splurge now and then. I think we can become obsessive about it, my theory is that as long as you are doing well most of the time, then it's OK to stray now and then. I still feel like a fat pig today though!
Lucy
Answers:
I was just thinking about how I ate a year ago, and realised that my diet overall is much better than it was then.
And then I remembered this quote which is quite relevant ........
Success is the sum of small efforts,
that you repeat day in and day out.
Many people take the first step and then stop.
Yet, with every additional step you take,
you enhance immensely the value of your first step.
All masters of success are chiefly distinguished
by their power of adding a second, a third,
and perhaps a forth step in a continuous line.
There is no royal road to anything.
One thing at a time, all things in succession is the rule of life.
That which grows fast, withers as rapidly.
That which grows slowly, endures.
Do not despise the bottom rungs in your ascent to greatness.
So perhaps we are too hard on ourselves !
Love Ru xx
Answers:
In reply to your original question:
So we can do the Self Fulfilling Prophecy that says:
"There, you did it again, you knew you would"
And then we have the perfect excuse for beating ourselves over the head, just like we always do ......... ;-)
It helps us stay the same.
Holistic
Answers:
There could be a number of reasons. First perhaps the regime that you are on could be just too hard to follow all the time. Secondly, you have to assess the reasons you have for wanting to lose weight and thirdly what do you have to keep the motivation up?
When you decide to lose weight you have to look at every part of your life and being. Sounds all airy fairy I know but there is something in it. If you want to lose it because you don't like the way you look, think about exactly why you don't like the way look. Then there are health issues. Is your weight now at a dangerous level? Are you heading that way? Remember a "diet" is not just for Christmas...so to speak! changing your eating habits is hard if you have enjoyed eating what you wanted over a long space in time. But it is not impossible. Remember also to set aside a day where you treat yourself. One day where you have your favourite meal or snack. May sound strange but don't try too hard - that is if you do push yourself too hard you are setting yourself up for a fall. Non of us are superwomen, was are women who like to endulge. But just remember when to stop, and don't let you be the reason for falling off the wagon.
So many people eat out of boredom and stress. If this is the case with you, assess in yourself what makes you stresses and why are you bord. Look for other ways to distract you from these feelings. Stress and comfort eating go hand and hand even though to the person they are enemies (make sence?). Be the ruler of your body, don't let it rule you.
When you do really know your reasons for wanting to lose weight, don't forget them, focus on them, esp when you are getting an urge.
You know deep down that you can do it.
Jac
xxx
Answers:
Love what you your quote Ruminumi.
I have printed it off . I am going to a slimming club tonight, I have joined time and time again and last week I was asked why I sabatage my diet all the time. I am going to take it slow this time and take the scenic route I have tried the motorway and given in every time.
Answers:
Why do people sabotage their diets? IMHO that is because they have something to lose if they stick to the diet. Find out what you're giving up in your life by sabotaging your plans to stay slim, and you'll have the key to staying slim.
Answers:
I think if we could answer this problem there would be no fat people in this world, so pass. I just know that I do it because I comfort myself when I am down, and instead of trying to work out why I am down I feed my unhappiness. Well that was then and this is now, I have just joined SW for the umpteenth time, and have a totaly different approach to it, I have also just finished seeing my counsellor and am really trying so hard to make this year different. So far so good [sm=dance.gif]
Lotsaluv Misha xxx
Answers:
sabotage !. . .okay this is for die hard sabotagers only - its a long one - go grab a .. an adams ale ! :-)
Ooh & why do you think i have been avoiding the nutrition threads :-)
no wheat ..no sugar etc .. .. hmmmn . . I've been in denial !
So after having a few dreadful weeks eating even more wheat & sweet goodies - than ever before.!
I guess i can only liken/consider sabotage to that faithful companion,
the naughty friend - whom you know if you play with for too long you'll end up in heaps of trouble !
Its an emotional relationship !
Its a habit , its a prop its all the things a best friend should be when she's not around. Its all teh things a lover should be . . . cosy..relaxing..soothing...
its what we make it
Mine ..both friend & lover ..I may sound crazy but think of thought patterns
associated . . Ooh nice treat . .I'll relax , watch a dvd..have a nice drink, ooh have a bar of choccie, bag of crisps whatever the supposed treat
( treat is the last thing it is !! )
Or then theres - meet friends for a meal, have friends around for a meal, meal = friends, pleasure . Its definately the association we impress upon what pleasure food brings as opposed to scientifically what is does nutrtionally.
Now after sussing out a bad relationship - its now time to dump the relationship & all ties. Thats the hard bit . .any other relationship we break free, dont go to the same places, avoid the ex etc tec...with food we have to have it, Thus transference of need, transference of thoughts/associations
is vital..unless thought pattern is broken & needs recognised its a sure fail cycle.
Thats the hard part for me - breaking a long established friend yet even though i know when i eat chocolate my skin will break out, i will have a headache, i will feel lethargic afterwards & yes i will put on weight.
When i eat nutritionally balanced I feel great . .and if i keep really really busy & avoid the old haunts . .coffe & piece of cake, a dvd, pc all places that i would socialise & snack ( at home vi work/study ) I feel good & look better have zillions more energy.
So we all know the problems, the answers . . . but sabotage will continue until decisiveness , strength & focused minds prevail . . No ... No .. No
Thats what i keep thinking - thats the problem as i think . .no. . i will snack
So its not thinking its doing . . which means organisation...discipine...positive thoughts....
like ooh No thank you I dont eat wheat, sugar choclate crisps
whatever
transferring the love & affection to fresh natural goodness
- i mean we wouldnt admire the smell of a bottle of flavouring, preservatives & colouring the same as we would fresh english strawberrys.
So - anyone for sabotage sabbatical !! ?
Today after I have had fruit for breakfast
then some whole nut as i was studying i thought ENOUGH !!
anyone fancy a journey a sabotage sabbatical
I will post a new thread - we can share the emotional aspect of renewing our existing feindships with the calorific fiends - lets face it they're not freinds at all, & worse we're not a very good friend to ourselves
How many of us encourage our children,partners, friends, clients to eat soo sensibly & cutout this that & the other.
Its out time now . . . anybody fancy suporting me on my natural nutrtion quest , . . especially when our families - have basically - heard it all before ! For me it is & it is not about weight - its about getting back in control, when food is neither here nor there - and i can eat what i choose
as what i choose to eat is pure goodness to maintain my health to its optimum possibilities which with hypo-thyroid problems is challenging !!
Soz its been along one..but maybe waning moon & all its the best time to detox & get going ! :-)
Answers:
Hi Pre and all,
Some very good points. Yes, what does food mean to us? If it was a friend, what would that friend represent for us? We can let go only if we first listen to both the "sensible" and the "needy" side. Do we REALLY believe that we deserve to look/feel better? On the long run? For me, when I go for the "wrong" foods it is usually when I am looking for "comforting" of some sort. If I am aware of it, I can consciously choose to do something else to comfort myself. Of course, it does not work 100% of the time, but that's part of being human!!
Artemis
Answers:
Perana I like what you say. That has given me somthing to think about.[sm=scratchchin.gif]
Answers:
ah brilliant Artemis - thats about being back in control ..bet that feels good & yes part of being human is having/wanting little treats /naughties - when we choose to thats fine ..its when we cant stop - thats when the relationship becomes a problem, the need becomes great & then a whole range or emotional roller coaster rides can begin - - ooh i feel guilty , shouldnt, wish i'd, why ? ect etc and of course if somebody tries to help & be supportive - eg. by saying
"oooh should you really eat that then, if youre trying to cut it out" !!
- now if the response is - "you're right darling ..temp. blip, weak willed moment - thank you "
or a
"G r r r r r -, you have one, its only one "
feeling/thinking how dare they, :D
then its a relationship , its a problem & boy what discoveries to make !
Its a wake up call for sure.