Hospital Procedures
Wasn't really sure where to put this post (or what to call it), so if anyone has any better ideas, I'll move it.
As some of you know, my father in law had a stroke 11 weeks ago. Since then, his right side has been paralysed and he cannot speak or swallow, although he was fairly responsive to us, making sounds (trying to mimic us), attempting to do some gentle exercises and laughing at times.
For 9 weeks he was in an acute medical ward, even though his needs were more long term as they simply had nowhere else to put him. During this time he had little or no speech therapy or physio, just lots of assessments which told us what he wasn't able to do.
His poor recovery (and probably his age - he's 75 - although they wouldn't admit it) meant that he didn't meet the criteria for the stroke unit. But he was referred on to an Elderly Patient Rehabilitation Unit, which we saw and thought to be truly wonderful.
He was moved there, but less than 24 hours later was vomiting blood and turned yellow. He was transferred back to the original hospital where we were told he had a duodenal ulcer, anaemia (presumably from the loss of blood), a liver problem, kidney infection and an irregular heartbeat. They have been running loads of tests, but because he was on anti-biotics had diarrheah, so was moved to a side ward.
Because he has so little stimulation now, is bored and institutionalised, he is barely responding to us and sleeps a lot.
He's been in the side ward for two weeks, we cannot get any straight answers from doctors or nurses as to whether he still needs to be there (they keep telling us they're waiting for more test results, but some of the staff tell us he is OK) and now, the doctors, in their infinite wisdom, have taken it upon themselves to put him on anti-depressants with no consultation with the family. So now, as his body adjusts to them, he is sleeping all the time. To me this is just not the answer and when we ask why he is sleeping all the time, we get answers like 'well, he's tired' or 'it's hot'. I know it's not the case. I've been on AD's myself and know how I felt for the first couple of weeks.
Any thoughts anyone?
Lesley
Answers:
Hi Lesley
I'm sorry to hear your news. I hope your Mum is getting on ok. You must be really stressed with all this. Its bad enough for me with just my Dad in hospital, but you're coping with 2 patients. re my Dad we're waiting to hear if he will get continuing NHS care or have to go into a nursing home.
Your poor father in law has really been through it. The meds may be necessary as he could well be depressed but trying to hide it from the family. It would certainly be understandable given his condition. Perhaps they could try to convince him he can make a good recovery with time, boost his morale a bit.
I dont know whether its fortunate or not really but my Dad is completely oblivious to where he is and not unhappy. Its much harder for them when they are 'compus mentis'. As you say about becomming institutionalised, my Dads mental faculties have deteriorated, but if they can read or listen to the radio or tv I think that can help.
As you say the meds are probably making him so sleepy, the kidney infection can make them feel very ill and sleepy (myDad has had this several times) also being anaemic might. Perhaps they could try a lower dose. My Dad was very sleepy when taking strong painkillers.
I have noticed at Whipps that they are willing to work hard on the well over 80's so a 75 year old would be regarded as quite young there. I've been really impressed with the elderly rehab units which are in Victory and Peace wards. In fact the care in that unit is much better than on the general ward, where it was poor, they are geared up to caring for very disabled people with all the proper lifting equipment etc.
Which hospital is he in?
Anyway, at least he has a good family fighting for him, which goes a long way.
We've found persistence really pays off and perhaps he may get into the rehab unit if you push a bit, although I'm sure you have already.
[sm=hug.gif]
Love Jan X
Answers:
Hi Jan
My FIL is in King George's in Goodmayes as he is Redbridge. It is abysmal. He's not at all compus mentus as his brain is quite severely damaged, but he can get distressed, but like your dad is not able to do anything for himself. He can't read. We tried with a TV in his room, but until we get there, there is no-one there to turn it on, off or over and the nurses really don't bother. They really have a huge attitude problem there.
There was one today who I wanted to speak to, as my mother in law couldn't take any more. The physio had just left a message with her to say that Len is unrehabilitable as he is brain dead! But the way she put it with hands on hips, saying 'so there' in a really nasty way. So I went to see the staff nurse. As she saw me she crossed her arms as if to say 'don't approach me', and rolled her eyes heavenwards with real attitude and said 'yeah?' (like a teenager would if you get my drift). Anyway, she refused to speak to me as she said I'm not next of kin (even though I've been going up there for the past 11 weeks. She said she would only speak to my mother in law. I told her my mother in law had asked me to do it, but she just wouldn't listen. She wouldn't come to Len's room and we both couldn't be at the nursing station together as Len was in a chair and he couldn't be left in case he fell. I was so livid as she was clearly just trying to be difficult.
I went out the ward and phoned to speak to the Chief Executive of the Hospital but ended up being put back to the ward where the sister spoke to me and asked me to come back in. We had a long chat, with my mother in law and I've now told her that I won't be spoken to like that and that she should let all her staff know that the next of kin has said that I can speak to any member of staff about Len. But the stress. Today both Fay and I were in tears, so of course Len got upset. I have precious little time to spend at the hospital and don't want to spend all my time there arguing with the nursing staff.
Anyway, Jan, hope that things settle with your dad soon and that he is able to go somewhere where they can give him the care that he needs, although Whipps sounds like it's doing its job.
We must get together soon.
Lesley
Answers:
Hi Lesley,
Have just read the above and feel so angry and sad for you all. I know King George's (used to live in Seven Kings) and it doesn't seem to have improved at all over the years. I work for a local primary care trust and there are complaint procedures that are available to all who request them. When things are in writing then they HAVE to be dealt with. I know it's not much consolation for you all but it might put you in a better position for getting information about your FIL. At least you will get an acknowledgement from a manager and the outcome of their enquirey from your complaint.
I will send you lots of loving healing Reiki energy to give you all the strength to see this through,
Love and light
reikiangel
xxx
Answers:
Reikiangel [sm=hug.gif]
Lesley
As some of you know, my father in law had a stroke 11 weeks ago. Since then, his right side has been paralysed and he cannot speak or swallow, although he was fairly responsive to us, making sounds (trying to mimic us), attempting to do some gentle exercises and laughing at times.
For 9 weeks he was in an acute medical ward, even though his needs were more long term as they simply had nowhere else to put him. During this time he had little or no speech therapy or physio, just lots of assessments which told us what he wasn't able to do.
His poor recovery (and probably his age - he's 75 - although they wouldn't admit it) meant that he didn't meet the criteria for the stroke unit. But he was referred on to an Elderly Patient Rehabilitation Unit, which we saw and thought to be truly wonderful.
He was moved there, but less than 24 hours later was vomiting blood and turned yellow. He was transferred back to the original hospital where we were told he had a duodenal ulcer, anaemia (presumably from the loss of blood), a liver problem, kidney infection and an irregular heartbeat. They have been running loads of tests, but because he was on anti-biotics had diarrheah, so was moved to a side ward.
Because he has so little stimulation now, is bored and institutionalised, he is barely responding to us and sleeps a lot.
He's been in the side ward for two weeks, we cannot get any straight answers from doctors or nurses as to whether he still needs to be there (they keep telling us they're waiting for more test results, but some of the staff tell us he is OK) and now, the doctors, in their infinite wisdom, have taken it upon themselves to put him on anti-depressants with no consultation with the family. So now, as his body adjusts to them, he is sleeping all the time. To me this is just not the answer and when we ask why he is sleeping all the time, we get answers like 'well, he's tired' or 'it's hot'. I know it's not the case. I've been on AD's myself and know how I felt for the first couple of weeks.
Any thoughts anyone?
Lesley
Answers:
Hi Lesley
I'm sorry to hear your news. I hope your Mum is getting on ok. You must be really stressed with all this. Its bad enough for me with just my Dad in hospital, but you're coping with 2 patients. re my Dad we're waiting to hear if he will get continuing NHS care or have to go into a nursing home.
Your poor father in law has really been through it. The meds may be necessary as he could well be depressed but trying to hide it from the family. It would certainly be understandable given his condition. Perhaps they could try to convince him he can make a good recovery with time, boost his morale a bit.
I dont know whether its fortunate or not really but my Dad is completely oblivious to where he is and not unhappy. Its much harder for them when they are 'compus mentis'. As you say about becomming institutionalised, my Dads mental faculties have deteriorated, but if they can read or listen to the radio or tv I think that can help.
As you say the meds are probably making him so sleepy, the kidney infection can make them feel very ill and sleepy (myDad has had this several times) also being anaemic might. Perhaps they could try a lower dose. My Dad was very sleepy when taking strong painkillers.
I have noticed at Whipps that they are willing to work hard on the well over 80's so a 75 year old would be regarded as quite young there. I've been really impressed with the elderly rehab units which are in Victory and Peace wards. In fact the care in that unit is much better than on the general ward, where it was poor, they are geared up to caring for very disabled people with all the proper lifting equipment etc.
Which hospital is he in?
Anyway, at least he has a good family fighting for him, which goes a long way.
We've found persistence really pays off and perhaps he may get into the rehab unit if you push a bit, although I'm sure you have already.
[sm=hug.gif]
Love Jan X
Answers:
Hi Jan
My FIL is in King George's in Goodmayes as he is Redbridge. It is abysmal. He's not at all compus mentus as his brain is quite severely damaged, but he can get distressed, but like your dad is not able to do anything for himself. He can't read. We tried with a TV in his room, but until we get there, there is no-one there to turn it on, off or over and the nurses really don't bother. They really have a huge attitude problem there.
There was one today who I wanted to speak to, as my mother in law couldn't take any more. The physio had just left a message with her to say that Len is unrehabilitable as he is brain dead! But the way she put it with hands on hips, saying 'so there' in a really nasty way. So I went to see the staff nurse. As she saw me she crossed her arms as if to say 'don't approach me', and rolled her eyes heavenwards with real attitude and said 'yeah?' (like a teenager would if you get my drift). Anyway, she refused to speak to me as she said I'm not next of kin (even though I've been going up there for the past 11 weeks. She said she would only speak to my mother in law. I told her my mother in law had asked me to do it, but she just wouldn't listen. She wouldn't come to Len's room and we both couldn't be at the nursing station together as Len was in a chair and he couldn't be left in case he fell. I was so livid as she was clearly just trying to be difficult.
I went out the ward and phoned to speak to the Chief Executive of the Hospital but ended up being put back to the ward where the sister spoke to me and asked me to come back in. We had a long chat, with my mother in law and I've now told her that I won't be spoken to like that and that she should let all her staff know that the next of kin has said that I can speak to any member of staff about Len. But the stress. Today both Fay and I were in tears, so of course Len got upset. I have precious little time to spend at the hospital and don't want to spend all my time there arguing with the nursing staff.
Anyway, Jan, hope that things settle with your dad soon and that he is able to go somewhere where they can give him the care that he needs, although Whipps sounds like it's doing its job.
We must get together soon.
Lesley
Answers:
Hi Lesley,
Have just read the above and feel so angry and sad for you all. I know King George's (used to live in Seven Kings) and it doesn't seem to have improved at all over the years. I work for a local primary care trust and there are complaint procedures that are available to all who request them. When things are in writing then they HAVE to be dealt with. I know it's not much consolation for you all but it might put you in a better position for getting information about your FIL. At least you will get an acknowledgement from a manager and the outcome of their enquirey from your complaint.
I will send you lots of loving healing Reiki energy to give you all the strength to see this through,
Love and light
reikiangel
xxx
Answers:
Reikiangel [sm=hug.gif]
Lesley