Sexual Aversion
Hello,
I'm new to the forum and firstly want to say what a wonderful find it is!
Secondly I hope I haven't been too forward with the title of this post. I have been searching the forums and have been unable to find anything remotely similar to this so thought I would start buy posting in a 'general health' forum.
I am in my early 20s and have a partner of 2.5 years (my second relationship - my first being for 3 years). I have never been that interested in sex, although when I eventually let myself go, I do enjoy it and my partner does fulfil me. That is when I let myself go and allow myself to have sex. Of late, I am starting to feel more panicky about it. I am rarely in the mood and am rarely bothered (perhaps this is laziness) and I do feel bad as my partner seems regularly turned on and mentions sex a lot(not in a vulgar way - he just wants to be close to me) - which in turn does put pressure on me. But from his point of view, if he didn't try it on or mention it we may never have it at all.
Particularly I seem to have a problem with being intimate - sometimes I find it hard to kiss him in any way more passionately than a short peck on the lips. It almost makes me feel repulsed and I need to stop. And if his hands wander I end up following them, to ensure I have control over where they are going - or to stop them reaching certain parts. I just feel so tense. It's not like I don't want to have sex and be close and intimate but I just feel panicky and can't get close and have to stop. We are close in other ways and I love cuddling...it's just the more intimate stuff like kissing and sex. The thought of touching his parts or having them enter me make me feel quite sick sometimes. It is not him, it's me - we are perfectly happy together and I love him very much. Sometimes if I have had alcohol it makes things easier - but the more I seem to think about it the worse it gets.
My main worry is not that he will leave me but more that it will drive a wedge between us.
Additionally there is no history of rape or abuse - I came from a family where sex wasn't mentioned.
I also found the below on a website and it seems to describe me perfectly. Do you think homeopathic remedies could help solve this? I have a feeling that it's going to take more than that but I don't know where to start. I feel like I'm becoming more inward all the time. I just want to let go and have a close, loving relationship in the bedroom.
------------------------------------------------------------
SEPIA
MENTAL / EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS:
· GREAT SADNESS and WEEPING.
· INDIFFERENCE to loved ones, spiteful, critical of others.
· STILLNESS of emotions and mind (Detachment).
· Aversion to family/friends, yet dreads to be alone.
· Anger and irritability easily produced. Life has no joy.
· Fear of ghosts, storms, poverty.
In the emotional state we also have the same idea of stasis. Stillness of emotions. Feeling without emotion. Can't be stimulated to have joy or emotion by any stimulus.
The emotions that have been stilled refer to the complaints. Affection and the joy of life. Can be so long in that state that she can't remember since when. Life begins running through her when she feels better again.
[font=verdana]Sepia is low profile, low key in its expression. The patients will complain that natural emotions that should be there are not there any more. For example, to love your children is a natural emotion, but even that goes away. This situation will come as a result of shock
Answers:
Hi there
welcome to healthy pages
If you are thinking about using homeopathy, I would suggest you see a homeopath as my sense is that the potency available in eg Boots, would not be strong enough, and any higher potencies need to be prescribed by an experienced homeopath.
You mention 'repulsion', so you might benefit from the bach flower remedy crab apple, which helps to clear disgust of any sort
You could also benefit from the 'woman' essence, which is a composite of australian flower essences.
Planet Organic stock this, or you can get them online
This is safe to take
tigress
Answers:
Hello Tigress thank you for your kind reply.
How long would you suggest I take the crab apple for and are there any other flower essences that could aid me? Do you think flower remedies are strong enough to clear the way I am feeling?
Hunantra [sm=cry.gif]
Answers:
I would say to take the crab apple until it has all gone.
The 'Woman' flower essence contains she oak which will help too.
Yes, even though they are gentlr, the fower remedies and essences can make a big difference.
let us know how you are getting on after taking crab apple for a week or so, and each night before you go to sleep, ask for a healing dream
tigress
Answers:
Hi thanks again.
I have bought the Woman essence but they didn't have any Crab Apple - although will try my best to get hold of it later on. I also bought some Wisteria as it seemed appropriate:
NegativeCondition:
• feeling uncomfortable with sex
• closed sexually
• macho male
PositiveOutcome:
• sexual enjoyment
• enhanced sensuality
• sexual openness
• gentleness
They also do a 'Sexuality' essence but I was drawn to this one in particular...it's so hard to know which ones are 'right' as a lot of them seem to apply.
Hunantra
Answers:
yes, I can understand that bit about so many seeming to apply, but the Woman essence will help a lot and the wisteria too.
I think it would be good to use the sexuality one, but later on..maybe a few months down the line.
It is excellent that you followed your inner guidance when you saw the wisteria as it is perfect for the situation you wish to improve.
look for gentle improvements, day by day ..it will be worth it
tigress [sm=love-smiley-009.gif]
Answers:
Just one more thing...the Woman essence seems to have a dosage on the side (7 drops morning and night) but the Wisteria doesn't. It is a 15ml stock bottle - should I take the same dosage or a certain amount of drops every few hours or something? Also do I mix it with water or just take it from the dropper?
Thank you - your advice is much appreciated, I am feeling much more positive about the whole situation.
Hunantra :)
I'm new to the forum and firstly want to say what a wonderful find it is!
Secondly I hope I haven't been too forward with the title of this post. I have been searching the forums and have been unable to find anything remotely similar to this so thought I would start buy posting in a 'general health' forum.
I am in my early 20s and have a partner of 2.5 years (my second relationship - my first being for 3 years). I have never been that interested in sex, although when I eventually let myself go, I do enjoy it and my partner does fulfil me. That is when I let myself go and allow myself to have sex. Of late, I am starting to feel more panicky about it. I am rarely in the mood and am rarely bothered (perhaps this is laziness) and I do feel bad as my partner seems regularly turned on and mentions sex a lot(not in a vulgar way - he just wants to be close to me) - which in turn does put pressure on me. But from his point of view, if he didn't try it on or mention it we may never have it at all.
Particularly I seem to have a problem with being intimate - sometimes I find it hard to kiss him in any way more passionately than a short peck on the lips. It almost makes me feel repulsed and I need to stop. And if his hands wander I end up following them, to ensure I have control over where they are going - or to stop them reaching certain parts. I just feel so tense. It's not like I don't want to have sex and be close and intimate but I just feel panicky and can't get close and have to stop. We are close in other ways and I love cuddling...it's just the more intimate stuff like kissing and sex. The thought of touching his parts or having them enter me make me feel quite sick sometimes. It is not him, it's me - we are perfectly happy together and I love him very much. Sometimes if I have had alcohol it makes things easier - but the more I seem to think about it the worse it gets.
My main worry is not that he will leave me but more that it will drive a wedge between us.
Additionally there is no history of rape or abuse - I came from a family where sex wasn't mentioned.
I also found the below on a website and it seems to describe me perfectly. Do you think homeopathic remedies could help solve this? I have a feeling that it's going to take more than that but I don't know where to start. I feel like I'm becoming more inward all the time. I just want to let go and have a close, loving relationship in the bedroom.
------------------------------------------------------------
SEPIA
MENTAL / EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS:
· GREAT SADNESS and WEEPING.
· INDIFFERENCE to loved ones, spiteful, critical of others.
· STILLNESS of emotions and mind (Detachment).
· Aversion to family/friends, yet dreads to be alone.
· Anger and irritability easily produced. Life has no joy.
· Fear of ghosts, storms, poverty.
In the emotional state we also have the same idea of stasis. Stillness of emotions. Feeling without emotion. Can't be stimulated to have joy or emotion by any stimulus.
The emotions that have been stilled refer to the complaints. Affection and the joy of life. Can be so long in that state that she can't remember since when. Life begins running through her when she feels better again.
[font=verdana]Sepia is low profile, low key in its expression. The patients will complain that natural emotions that should be there are not there any more. For example, to love your children is a natural emotion, but even that goes away. This situation will come as a result of shock
Answers:
Hi there
welcome to healthy pages
If you are thinking about using homeopathy, I would suggest you see a homeopath as my sense is that the potency available in eg Boots, would not be strong enough, and any higher potencies need to be prescribed by an experienced homeopath.
You mention 'repulsion', so you might benefit from the bach flower remedy crab apple, which helps to clear disgust of any sort
You could also benefit from the 'woman' essence, which is a composite of australian flower essences.
Planet Organic stock this, or you can get them online
This is safe to take
tigress
Answers:
Hello Tigress thank you for your kind reply.
How long would you suggest I take the crab apple for and are there any other flower essences that could aid me? Do you think flower remedies are strong enough to clear the way I am feeling?
Hunantra [sm=cry.gif]
Answers:
I would say to take the crab apple until it has all gone.
The 'Woman' flower essence contains she oak which will help too.
Yes, even though they are gentlr, the fower remedies and essences can make a big difference.
let us know how you are getting on after taking crab apple for a week or so, and each night before you go to sleep, ask for a healing dream
tigress
Answers:
Hi thanks again.
I have bought the Woman essence but they didn't have any Crab Apple - although will try my best to get hold of it later on. I also bought some Wisteria as it seemed appropriate:
NegativeCondition:
• feeling uncomfortable with sex
• closed sexually
• macho male
PositiveOutcome:
• sexual enjoyment
• enhanced sensuality
• sexual openness
• gentleness
They also do a 'Sexuality' essence but I was drawn to this one in particular...it's so hard to know which ones are 'right' as a lot of them seem to apply.
Hunantra
Answers:
yes, I can understand that bit about so many seeming to apply, but the Woman essence will help a lot and the wisteria too.
I think it would be good to use the sexuality one, but later on..maybe a few months down the line.
It is excellent that you followed your inner guidance when you saw the wisteria as it is perfect for the situation you wish to improve.
look for gentle improvements, day by day ..it will be worth it
tigress [sm=love-smiley-009.gif]
Answers:
Just one more thing...the Woman essence seems to have a dosage on the side (7 drops morning and night) but the Wisteria doesn't. It is a 15ml stock bottle - should I take the same dosage or a certain amount of drops every few hours or something? Also do I mix it with water or just take it from the dropper?
Thank you - your advice is much appreciated, I am feeling much more positive about the whole situation.
Hunantra :)