o/t but am I right to be upset?
o/t but am I right to be upset?
this is completely off topic, but as I dont really post anyplace else, im going to do so here
basically, i have 1 sister, whos 3 years older than me. we get on very well. however she got married almost 5 years ago, and never asked me to be bridesmaid! she asked a friend of hers. now, perhaps its not the same outside of ireland, but here, weddings and who you ask to be bridesmaid is a big deal. i do not know of anyone whos sister did not ask them. i even know of cousins who have been so upset because their cousin didnt ask them. the only reason you wouldnt ask your only sister is if you really didnt like her, and were not in contact with her. i was upset at the time, but i didnt mention anything as i didnt want to be a drama queen and i didnt want to upset her in the lead up to her wedding, but lately i've become very upset by it. i spent all day sunday crying over it. i know that sounds crazy, and its only one day blah blah blah, but its the point that my only sister didnt want me.
basically, i would like your opinions, have i a right to be upset, or am i being completely over the top and irrational?
thanks
xx
Answers:
Hi,
I didn't want to read this & not post even though I don't have any strong advice. If you feel really upset I would mention it to your sister - ask her why. You haven't mentioned your parents, but did/ do they have an opinion on it?
I think ( and without knowing the details) that for it to come to your mind now, there has been something that has triggered it. Could be something small, like a wedding on tv.. but you do need to speak to your sister.
ETA: And yes you have a right to be upset. It is a relationship that you place more value on that she apparently does. So yes.
XX
Answers:
I think I would have been upset too! Do you know why your sister didn't ask you to be bridesmaid? (Sorry if you've already posted that, I quickly read your post!)
xx
Answers:
dont be upset irisheyes :hug:
i got married almost 3 years ago and i had my sister and cousin as bridesmaids but only because i couldnt choose between my friends as i would have upset anyone i left out. perhaps your sister asked her friend so she didnt upset her. why not talk to her about it if its upsetting you? Im sure she didnt mean to upset you.
Answers:
TBH, both. I would be rather miffed if either of my sisters didn't ask me to be their bridesmaid/maid of honour.
But looking at it from the bride's point of view, I can also see that it's the bride's decision and sometimes it's not about making everyone else happy.
If it's upsetting you that much and you value your relationship with your sister, then I guess you're going to have to talk to her about it.
But bearing in mind that it was five years ago, be prepared for your sister to take the 'why didn't you say something at the time?' stance.
However, part of me is wondering if it's really this incident that's upsetting you.
this is completely off topic, but as I dont really post anyplace else, im going to do so here
basically, i have 1 sister, whos 3 years older than me. we get on very well. however she got married almost 5 years ago, and never asked me to be bridesmaid! she asked a friend of hers. now, perhaps its not the same outside of ireland, but here, weddings and who you ask to be bridesmaid is a big deal. i do not know of anyone whos sister did not ask them. i even know of cousins who have been so upset because their cousin didnt ask them. the only reason you wouldnt ask your only sister is if you really didnt like her, and were not in contact with her. i was upset at the time, but i didnt mention anything as i didnt want to be a drama queen and i didnt want to upset her in the lead up to her wedding, but lately i've become very upset by it. i spent all day sunday crying over it. i know that sounds crazy, and its only one day blah blah blah, but its the point that my only sister didnt want me.
basically, i would like your opinions, have i a right to be upset, or am i being completely over the top and irrational?
thanks
xx
Answers:
Hi,
I didn't want to read this & not post even though I don't have any strong advice. If you feel really upset I would mention it to your sister - ask her why. You haven't mentioned your parents, but did/ do they have an opinion on it?
I think ( and without knowing the details) that for it to come to your mind now, there has been something that has triggered it. Could be something small, like a wedding on tv.. but you do need to speak to your sister.
ETA: And yes you have a right to be upset. It is a relationship that you place more value on that she apparently does. So yes.
XX
Answers:
I think I would have been upset too! Do you know why your sister didn't ask you to be bridesmaid? (Sorry if you've already posted that, I quickly read your post!)
xx
Answers:
dont be upset irisheyes :hug:
i got married almost 3 years ago and i had my sister and cousin as bridesmaids but only because i couldnt choose between my friends as i would have upset anyone i left out. perhaps your sister asked her friend so she didnt upset her. why not talk to her about it if its upsetting you? Im sure she didnt mean to upset you.
Answers:
TBH, both. I would be rather miffed if either of my sisters didn't ask me to be their bridesmaid/maid of honour.
But looking at it from the bride's point of view, I can also see that it's the bride's decision and sometimes it's not about making everyone else happy.
If it's upsetting you that much and you value your relationship with your sister, then I guess you're going to have to talk to her about it.
But bearing in mind that it was five years ago, be prepared for your sister to take the 'why didn't you say something at the time?' stance.
However, part of me is wondering if it's really this incident that's upsetting you.