Worried and confused about behavior
My daughter just turned 5. She has always been a very sweet, loving, emotional, caring little girl. However, recently she wakes up angry and nothing you do pleases her. She is very picky about what she wears and how it feels on her, so most of the problem is set off by that. We let her choose what she wants to wear, but sometimes she is so wishy-washy and will not make a decision and stick to it. The mornings are always the worst. I have tried playing games, singing silly songs, babying her and even disiplining her. What works one day does not work the next. She fusses with me, tells me she doesn't love me and that I am not her best friend. Sometimes, she even slaps at me.
I love my daughter very much, but sometimes I feel like I am failing her becasue I do not know what to do for her. After a period of time and usually on the way to pre-school, she starts crying and apologizes and tells me she loves me. Does anyone have any advice?
Answers:
she sounds just like my daughter who is 5next month, she is just the same, she also seems to get upset really easily as well as the anger and that sort of thing, i thought maybe something is going on at school that is making her not happy,ive asked her and she says its not, and i have also spoken to the teachers to see if anyone is upsetting her at school, but they say she is really happy at school and not like this at all, which in a way makes me glad she is not bullied but in a way upsets me as i think its something i am doing to make her feel this way
i would also be interested in what people say aboout this, as i thought it might just be a faze she is going through, though i dont really know for definate
so really am just posting to say you are not alone
Answers:
My oldest dd is 5 also and I am going through the same thing. It doesn't matter what we do together in the course of the day. The second something happens that she doesn't like she will whine, cry, stamp her feet, you name it. I know a lot of it comes from competing for attention with the baby (she's 9 months), but I also think a lot of it is the age and testing her boundaries.
I now have made a "no whining" rule. The moment she starts to whine I point in the direction of her room. She protests, but I don't say anything to her except "whine in your room and when you're ready to use big girl words you come and get me.". That will usually work. When she throws a tantrum I pick her up and put her in her room and pretty much tell her the same thing. I try to ignore the behavior as much as possible. Now that she is seeing she isn't getting any attention from it she is doing it less and less. It's taken a few months, but it did work for us. The most important thing is being consistent.
Hope this may help.
Answers:
OK I am going to throw this out there as a POSSIBLE motive for your daughter's behaviour. It could be that she has to be good and on her best behaviour at preschool but at home she feels secure enough to not be good. Think of it as a stress reliever. My daughter did this in kindergarten too. Her behaviour was worse after school but I think it still applies.
Obviously the slapping is not acceptable but the other things I would just ignore for now. At some point you may need to address with her that it is NOT ok to say things to people that are hurtful because you are not feeling well, in a bad mood, etc.
Answers:
nothing you do pleases her.
I have tried playing games, singing silly songs, babying her and even disiplining her.
sometimes I feel like I am failing her becasue I do not know what to do for her. Hi alabama, how about realizing that it is okay to be grumpy and that you do not have to fix it? Give her some space and her feelings and don't feel that you are a bad mom because you can't always make things perfect. I have known people who are grumpy in the morning because they are not morning people and nothing makes them angrier than people who will not give them their space. We do not have to be happy all of the time and this is perfectly fine, natural and normal.
I love my daughter very much, but sometimes I feel like I am failing her becasue I do not know what to do for her. After a period of time and usually on the way to pre-school, she starts crying and apologizes and tells me she loves me. Does anyone have any advice?
Answers:
she sounds just like my daughter who is 5next month, she is just the same, she also seems to get upset really easily as well as the anger and that sort of thing, i thought maybe something is going on at school that is making her not happy,ive asked her and she says its not, and i have also spoken to the teachers to see if anyone is upsetting her at school, but they say she is really happy at school and not like this at all, which in a way makes me glad she is not bullied but in a way upsets me as i think its something i am doing to make her feel this way
i would also be interested in what people say aboout this, as i thought it might just be a faze she is going through, though i dont really know for definate
so really am just posting to say you are not alone
Answers:
My oldest dd is 5 also and I am going through the same thing. It doesn't matter what we do together in the course of the day. The second something happens that she doesn't like she will whine, cry, stamp her feet, you name it. I know a lot of it comes from competing for attention with the baby (she's 9 months), but I also think a lot of it is the age and testing her boundaries.
I now have made a "no whining" rule. The moment she starts to whine I point in the direction of her room. She protests, but I don't say anything to her except "whine in your room and when you're ready to use big girl words you come and get me.". That will usually work. When she throws a tantrum I pick her up and put her in her room and pretty much tell her the same thing. I try to ignore the behavior as much as possible. Now that she is seeing she isn't getting any attention from it she is doing it less and less. It's taken a few months, but it did work for us. The most important thing is being consistent.
Hope this may help.
Answers:
OK I am going to throw this out there as a POSSIBLE motive for your daughter's behaviour. It could be that she has to be good and on her best behaviour at preschool but at home she feels secure enough to not be good. Think of it as a stress reliever. My daughter did this in kindergarten too. Her behaviour was worse after school but I think it still applies.
Obviously the slapping is not acceptable but the other things I would just ignore for now. At some point you may need to address with her that it is NOT ok to say things to people that are hurtful because you are not feeling well, in a bad mood, etc.
Answers:
nothing you do pleases her.
I have tried playing games, singing silly songs, babying her and even disiplining her.
sometimes I feel like I am failing her becasue I do not know what to do for her. Hi alabama, how about realizing that it is okay to be grumpy and that you do not have to fix it? Give her some space and her feelings and don't feel that you are a bad mom because you can't always make things perfect. I have known people who are grumpy in the morning because they are not morning people and nothing makes them angrier than people who will not give them their space. We do not have to be happy all of the time and this is perfectly fine, natural and normal.