child molestation
I looked first to see if maybe there was a category under sexual abuse and didnt find one so I thought here would be okay.
Anyway two weeks ago my 6 and 8 year old daughters told me that their father was touching them in their "privates". So of course I contacted social services and got them interviewed and found out that it was worst than they had told me. To totally destroy me, today after being interviewed at a child advocacy center I found out that it has been going on a lot longer than they had originally mentioned. I was originally told since November, thats when the animal got his own place but it was going on for about a year when we were living together. While I was in the damn house he was touching my babies. Finding that out made it so much worst at first I just blamed him since I wasn't there to protect them but now I totally blame myself since it started when I was there when I was in the house, how could I not know this was happening how could I allow this.
I am setting up counseling for the girls tomorrow so they can start getting their young lives back to normal.
I am totally a wreck in a matter of two weeks my life has been shattered I thought my girls were protected and safe but I was so wrong and I have no idea if he has done anything to my now 19 month old. My poor sweet little girls lives have been dramatically changed and I can't do anything about it.
I guess Im posting this to find out if there is anyone else on this board that has gone through this or is going through this I really need someone in the same situation to talk to. I know that there are support groups I was told of the one they have the center I went to today but Im not ready to talk about this in front of people Im way to emotional right now I wont be able to handle it.
Thank You, Robyn
Answers:
I'm a father of two. One boy and one girl. I have not gone through what you are going through, but I can say I'm really sad to hear this. People can be sick. Very sick. Even if it's someone you know. (Your husband) It makes me angry and discusted that someone would do that to a child, but for a dad to do that to their own daughter.......
One persons actions can have defestating effects on so many different people. I'm really sorry that your girls, and you have to of gone through all of this. I don't know what I would do in your circumstances. I'm not sure if your religious or not, but I will pray for you and your family.
-Father of Two-
Answers:
Well thank you so much I really appreciate your prayers I am a very religious person and have spent a lot of time praying.
I feel the same way I don't understand how anyone could do this to a child but their own child that just disturbs me. He actually admitted to me during a recorded phone call at the police station last week, that he touched Ashley because he was lonely and it was convenient it took everything I had to remain calm and not just breakdown, because the detective assigned to my case was listening on her head set. Then he had the nerve to beg me not to go the police and to forgive him. He was concerned only about going to jail and started threatening to kill himself I so badly wanted to tell him thats exactly what he should do but again the detective was listening. The only sort term gratification I got was on Friday when I got the enjoyment of watching him get arrested in the middle of a full court room when an emergency restraining order was made permanent. I know it probably won't happen but that animal deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life and get beat everyday.
Answers:
oh robyn, i am so sorry for what you and your children are going through! I have not had any experiance with your situation but just wanted to say that i too hope {removed} he gets whats comming to him. I know it must be hard but try not to blame yourself for not knowing this was happening under your roof.. people that can do that to innosent children im sure are very good at covering themselves and its certainly not something you would imagine a father doing! you are a fantastic mum i bet, you did the right thing, your kids came to you, you listened and then you acted in the best intrests of your kids. you are a good mum! your kids felt able to come to you and will continue to need you while they get thru this, you keep strong your doing a good job. i hope if there are others out there going thru the same thing, that they see this and can help you out a little..i really feel for you and your children and hope you get the support you need.. take care robyn, i too will be praying for you and your family
Answers:
Robyn
It's truly unfortunate what has befallen you and your children. I have known several adult women molested as children and they are well adjusted, mature adults. They are also in the social service field, perhaps not surprising. I will say this, from what my friends have said - your children will recover and lead normal lives. Counseling will be very important for them and the counseling will need to be on and off for many years. Here's what happens, there are cycles. You may find your kids are fine for years and then start having trouble with sexuality issues in their early teens even though they'd been fine for years prior. Whenever such sexual issues arise in their life, they should go to counseling. Again the issues may arise in their mid early or mid twenties, even though in their later teens, things seemed to be fine. They need to go to counseling, again. Whenever troubling issues about sexuality comes up, they should go to counseling. When they are old enough, they may be interested in reading about adults molested as children - there are some good books about it.
A good counselor, one especially trained to work with children victims of sexual abuse, will know how best to work with your kids at this age.
Anyway two weeks ago my 6 and 8 year old daughters told me that their father was touching them in their "privates". So of course I contacted social services and got them interviewed and found out that it was worst than they had told me. To totally destroy me, today after being interviewed at a child advocacy center I found out that it has been going on a lot longer than they had originally mentioned. I was originally told since November, thats when the animal got his own place but it was going on for about a year when we were living together. While I was in the damn house he was touching my babies. Finding that out made it so much worst at first I just blamed him since I wasn't there to protect them but now I totally blame myself since it started when I was there when I was in the house, how could I not know this was happening how could I allow this.
I am setting up counseling for the girls tomorrow so they can start getting their young lives back to normal.
I am totally a wreck in a matter of two weeks my life has been shattered I thought my girls were protected and safe but I was so wrong and I have no idea if he has done anything to my now 19 month old. My poor sweet little girls lives have been dramatically changed and I can't do anything about it.
I guess Im posting this to find out if there is anyone else on this board that has gone through this or is going through this I really need someone in the same situation to talk to. I know that there are support groups I was told of the one they have the center I went to today but Im not ready to talk about this in front of people Im way to emotional right now I wont be able to handle it.
Thank You, Robyn
Answers:
I'm a father of two. One boy and one girl. I have not gone through what you are going through, but I can say I'm really sad to hear this. People can be sick. Very sick. Even if it's someone you know. (Your husband) It makes me angry and discusted that someone would do that to a child, but for a dad to do that to their own daughter.......
One persons actions can have defestating effects on so many different people. I'm really sorry that your girls, and you have to of gone through all of this. I don't know what I would do in your circumstances. I'm not sure if your religious or not, but I will pray for you and your family.
-Father of Two-
Answers:
Well thank you so much I really appreciate your prayers I am a very religious person and have spent a lot of time praying.
I feel the same way I don't understand how anyone could do this to a child but their own child that just disturbs me. He actually admitted to me during a recorded phone call at the police station last week, that he touched Ashley because he was lonely and it was convenient it took everything I had to remain calm and not just breakdown, because the detective assigned to my case was listening on her head set. Then he had the nerve to beg me not to go the police and to forgive him. He was concerned only about going to jail and started threatening to kill himself I so badly wanted to tell him thats exactly what he should do but again the detective was listening. The only sort term gratification I got was on Friday when I got the enjoyment of watching him get arrested in the middle of a full court room when an emergency restraining order was made permanent. I know it probably won't happen but that animal deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life and get beat everyday.
Answers:
oh robyn, i am so sorry for what you and your children are going through! I have not had any experiance with your situation but just wanted to say that i too hope {removed} he gets whats comming to him. I know it must be hard but try not to blame yourself for not knowing this was happening under your roof.. people that can do that to innosent children im sure are very good at covering themselves and its certainly not something you would imagine a father doing! you are a fantastic mum i bet, you did the right thing, your kids came to you, you listened and then you acted in the best intrests of your kids. you are a good mum! your kids felt able to come to you and will continue to need you while they get thru this, you keep strong your doing a good job. i hope if there are others out there going thru the same thing, that they see this and can help you out a little..i really feel for you and your children and hope you get the support you need.. take care robyn, i too will be praying for you and your family
Answers:
Robyn
It's truly unfortunate what has befallen you and your children. I have known several adult women molested as children and they are well adjusted, mature adults. They are also in the social service field, perhaps not surprising. I will say this, from what my friends have said - your children will recover and lead normal lives. Counseling will be very important for them and the counseling will need to be on and off for many years. Here's what happens, there are cycles. You may find your kids are fine for years and then start having trouble with sexuality issues in their early teens even though they'd been fine for years prior. Whenever such sexual issues arise in their life, they should go to counseling. Again the issues may arise in their mid early or mid twenties, even though in their later teens, things seemed to be fine. They need to go to counseling, again. Whenever troubling issues about sexuality comes up, they should go to counseling. When they are old enough, they may be interested in reading about adults molested as children - there are some good books about it.
A good counselor, one especially trained to work with children victims of sexual abuse, will know how best to work with your kids at this age.