When do you hit 'abnormal' in the potty training time line???
My son will be 4 in April. We started checking his potty interest when was just over 2 and knew it wasn't his time. He showed a lot of interest the December before he turned 3 and seemed to do okay with voiding off and was getting closer with bm's until his brother was born in June. For most of the summer he went in the potty most days and wore underwear but still had all bm's in his pants or a pull up. Then near the end of the summer everything halted and he asked to go back in diapers. (He has AMAZING communication skills and told us that 'it was too difficult to remember to go pee and poop in the potty and he needed a break for a bit'. We completely stopped talking about it, using the potty etc. until early Oct when we successfully tried a program where he trained his teddy bear...the first day he had a bm on the potty. It took till the end of Oct to master it all and by early Dec. he was even dry most nights.
Over the holidays he started having bm accidents occaisionally and then in mid Jan he got a UTI and started having voiding accidents.
Now 6 weeks later he is having most bm's in his pants and usually voids there once every 3 days or so.
He struggled with gross motor activities as an infant was delayed until he was about 13 months but then all seemed fine.
Could this be a delay from that? Is he just stubborn, not ready, delayed etc? Or is it something else???
I am so frustrated though I will have to say that I have become amazing at keeping this from him.
Thanks for any help and encouragement!!!
Answers:
Is there anything happening when he is going in his pants? Like did he get in trouble before-hand... not get to do something he wanted... you spending more time with his younger brother than is typical...? If the timing is around an event like this, it could be his way of getting back at you. Just a thought.
Answers:
I agree with Lisa. My little sister would do great at PT, and then, when her father would come around she would revert to bming in her pants. This happened until she was 6 or so. We finally discovered that it was b/c her father was not around anymore and she would go back to her babyish habits. This got her attention, even if it wasn't Positive. We worked hard, and once her father enlisted his help in the situation (visited her more often...he is a jerk) then she gradually got better. So, I know what you are dealing with. It sounds maybe he is jealous of the baby? Or thinks you aren't giving him enough attention b/c of the baby? I am worried about this same situation with my DD, as she is 3 and I am due in August with baby # 2. So, I am worried that she will revert in her PT too. I hope it gets better soon for you. You could also call his pediatrician and see if they can help. Good Luck!
Answers:
He is getting lots of attention and it never happens after he has gotten in trouble. He is a VERY busy boy and you'd think that it could happen when he is too busy to go but this doesn't seem to be the case. He's also very attentive to things like books or tv or even his toys but you can ask him if he has to go and he'll walk away, watch 2 minutes of tv and then go in his pants.
I do think that subconsiously he is jealous of his brother but that is more obvious is his behaviour (super hyper or not listening/ignoring) than related to accidents. Actually we never see accidents when we are having difficulty with this type of attention seeking behaviour.
As I said earlier, we did see regression when his brother was younger but then things seemed to be getting better for awhile. I just don't really have a clue when it comes to knowing how late is too late or what is considered 'normal'...I work with special needs kids...we're happy if some of them are trained by grade 8!!!
Answers:
Maybe you could try being on him a little more about it. In a positive way of course. You mentioned that you ask him and then he goes to watch TV and 2 minutes later he has an accident. Maybe ask him and when he goes to the TV tell him that he should try the potty before watching more, because he can always come back to it. My 3 year old sometimes does not want to go because he is having fun with whatever he is doing. I have to really encourage him to relieve himself and then he can go back to playing. It also helps that I keep track (in my head) of what and when he is drinking so I have an idea when he may be holding it to long.
When you get him to go without accidents, give him a token he can use to "buy" special things that he really want's.
I was wondering if because you work with special needs you are more used to letting go rather than pushing a bit. I have a friend who works with autistic kids and she tends to be a little lax with her own kids (not in a bad way). Maybe she does not know how much more to expect from a kid who is not special needs? Good luck!
Over the holidays he started having bm accidents occaisionally and then in mid Jan he got a UTI and started having voiding accidents.
Now 6 weeks later he is having most bm's in his pants and usually voids there once every 3 days or so.
He struggled with gross motor activities as an infant was delayed until he was about 13 months but then all seemed fine.
Could this be a delay from that? Is he just stubborn, not ready, delayed etc? Or is it something else???
I am so frustrated though I will have to say that I have become amazing at keeping this from him.
Thanks for any help and encouragement!!!
Answers:
Is there anything happening when he is going in his pants? Like did he get in trouble before-hand... not get to do something he wanted... you spending more time with his younger brother than is typical...? If the timing is around an event like this, it could be his way of getting back at you. Just a thought.
Answers:
I agree with Lisa. My little sister would do great at PT, and then, when her father would come around she would revert to bming in her pants. This happened until she was 6 or so. We finally discovered that it was b/c her father was not around anymore and she would go back to her babyish habits. This got her attention, even if it wasn't Positive. We worked hard, and once her father enlisted his help in the situation (visited her more often...he is a jerk) then she gradually got better. So, I know what you are dealing with. It sounds maybe he is jealous of the baby? Or thinks you aren't giving him enough attention b/c of the baby? I am worried about this same situation with my DD, as she is 3 and I am due in August with baby # 2. So, I am worried that she will revert in her PT too. I hope it gets better soon for you. You could also call his pediatrician and see if they can help. Good Luck!
Answers:
He is getting lots of attention and it never happens after he has gotten in trouble. He is a VERY busy boy and you'd think that it could happen when he is too busy to go but this doesn't seem to be the case. He's also very attentive to things like books or tv or even his toys but you can ask him if he has to go and he'll walk away, watch 2 minutes of tv and then go in his pants.
I do think that subconsiously he is jealous of his brother but that is more obvious is his behaviour (super hyper or not listening/ignoring) than related to accidents. Actually we never see accidents when we are having difficulty with this type of attention seeking behaviour.
As I said earlier, we did see regression when his brother was younger but then things seemed to be getting better for awhile. I just don't really have a clue when it comes to knowing how late is too late or what is considered 'normal'...I work with special needs kids...we're happy if some of them are trained by grade 8!!!
Answers:
Maybe you could try being on him a little more about it. In a positive way of course. You mentioned that you ask him and then he goes to watch TV and 2 minutes later he has an accident. Maybe ask him and when he goes to the TV tell him that he should try the potty before watching more, because he can always come back to it. My 3 year old sometimes does not want to go because he is having fun with whatever he is doing. I have to really encourage him to relieve himself and then he can go back to playing. It also helps that I keep track (in my head) of what and when he is drinking so I have an idea when he may be holding it to long.
When you get him to go without accidents, give him a token he can use to "buy" special things that he really want's.
I was wondering if because you work with special needs you are more used to letting go rather than pushing a bit. I have a friend who works with autistic kids and she tends to be a little lax with her own kids (not in a bad way). Maybe she does not know how much more to expect from a kid who is not special needs? Good luck!