my daughter confided in me, help!!!
My 10 year old daughter revealed to me last night that for 2 1/2 years her 14 year old brother has been forcing her to perform oral sex on him. My heart is breaking for her. I am setting up counceling for her and told her that I am very proud of her for telling me and trusting me. My husband is a survivor of incest from the ages of 2-18 by a brother and a sister. It was very violent for him so he understands more than I do. My main concern is for my son. We had no clue that this was going on and I feel so guilty. My daughter shows no fear of him. Should I call the cops and hope he gets the treatment that he needs or should I keep him in the home under strict guidelines theat we set in play last night and get him the help that I know he needs? I love my son but need to protect my daughters more. I also have a 5 year old and 4 year old. Help please This is tearing me apart.
Answers:
You need to get your son out of the house.... I have a cousin that abused his little sister for YEARS, and by the time they admitted what was going on, they were obligated to call the authorities. My cousin was taken to the juvenile detention center till the case was finished, if I remember correctly 2 months, and then lived with his grandmother for 2 years after. You have to et him away from those kids.. you can't possibly know whether he has done this to the other kids, or maybe even some of your daughters friends.
I is going to be VERY difficult for anyone that has not lived what you are living to understand that you still love and support your son.. dont let them get to you.
You have to protect all the kids. I suggest that you call a criminal lawyer, and see if he can help you with the results, because my cousin was charged as a juvenile and his record is sealed and he isnt labeled a sex offender. This worked well for this family, and I hope yours can get through this as well.
God be with you, as this is going to be one of the biggest tests of your faith and relationship.
Answers:
You are right Nitro. I am looking into residential treatment centers for him. I hope to God I do the right thing by all of my children. I cannot.stop loving him just because of him doing a horrendous act to his sister. but I have to do something to protect them as hard as that is. Thank you so much for understanding and not judging me for what I said. It is so hard to do this to my son, The Good Boy not my son The Monster.
Answers:
Something like that happend to me when I was 9 years old. But it was a cousin he was 13 at the time. And He wouyld be babysitting me and my little cousin (boy) he didn't know anything about it. I was soooo scared to go over there again. I finally told my mother and father 2 yrs later. Because it tstill bothered me alot. My father got on the phone with his mother and cursed her out. And then I was accused by his side of the family that I was lying because I had waited so long to say anything and because he denied it. It was the worst feeling to have someone say your kying about something like that. It still bothers me till this day and I am now 26. I agree with the previous poster get him out of the house. Even though she shows no fear toward him she is probably very scared inside. She just doesn't want anyone to see it. Trust me on this one. Also keep him away from the other children also. The best thing you can do.
I hope everything turns out ok. And remember your daughter is probably going to need alot of counseling for this. I never got any so that is probably why it still bothers me.
Answers:
God bless you..What a tuff thing for a parent to deal with. You guys must be great parents for your daughter to have the courage to come to you about this Iam sure it wasn't easy. (It took me about 8-10 years to tell my mom I had been sexually abused by a step-dad) Anyways, It sounds like your handling it well. As much as your heart is hurting for your son, and some angry, both of you need to be there for him too. May God give your family the strength to get through this.
Answers:
You need to get your son out of the house.... I have a cousin that abused his little sister for YEARS, and by the time they admitted what was going on, they were obligated to call the authorities. My cousin was taken to the juvenile detention center till the case was finished, if I remember correctly 2 months, and then lived with his grandmother for 2 years after. You have to et him away from those kids.. you can't possibly know whether he has done this to the other kids, or maybe even some of your daughters friends.
I is going to be VERY difficult for anyone that has not lived what you are living to understand that you still love and support your son.. dont let them get to you.
You have to protect all the kids. I suggest that you call a criminal lawyer, and see if he can help you with the results, because my cousin was charged as a juvenile and his record is sealed and he isnt labeled a sex offender. This worked well for this family, and I hope yours can get through this as well.
God be with you, as this is going to be one of the biggest tests of your faith and relationship.
Answers:
You are right Nitro. I am looking into residential treatment centers for him. I hope to God I do the right thing by all of my children. I cannot.stop loving him just because of him doing a horrendous act to his sister. but I have to do something to protect them as hard as that is. Thank you so much for understanding and not judging me for what I said. It is so hard to do this to my son, The Good Boy not my son The Monster.
Answers:
Something like that happend to me when I was 9 years old. But it was a cousin he was 13 at the time. And He wouyld be babysitting me and my little cousin (boy) he didn't know anything about it. I was soooo scared to go over there again. I finally told my mother and father 2 yrs later. Because it tstill bothered me alot. My father got on the phone with his mother and cursed her out. And then I was accused by his side of the family that I was lying because I had waited so long to say anything and because he denied it. It was the worst feeling to have someone say your kying about something like that. It still bothers me till this day and I am now 26. I agree with the previous poster get him out of the house. Even though she shows no fear toward him she is probably very scared inside. She just doesn't want anyone to see it. Trust me on this one. Also keep him away from the other children also. The best thing you can do.
I hope everything turns out ok. And remember your daughter is probably going to need alot of counseling for this. I never got any so that is probably why it still bothers me.
Answers:
God bless you..What a tuff thing for a parent to deal with. You guys must be great parents for your daughter to have the courage to come to you about this Iam sure it wasn't easy. (It took me about 8-10 years to tell my mom I had been sexually abused by a step-dad) Anyways, It sounds like your handling it well. As much as your heart is hurting for your son, and some angry, both of you need to be there for him too. May God give your family the strength to get through this.