My son WILL NOT stop biting!
My son is 3 years old & he's in school. Well his teacher has been telling me that he has been trying to bite her & the teacher's aid. He does try to bite us at home if he gets mad or upset but he either grab him firmly by the shoulders and tell him very sternly "NO BITING!" We spank him as well. We've even tried biting him back but in all honesty I just don't think that's the way to go. First of all if we were to bite him too hard it would leave a bruise and we could get into a lot a trouble, secondly, I feel that that just shows him that he can bite because mommy & daddy bite. So to be honest I just don't know what to do! He hasn't bit a child yet so I'm praying that he never gets that chance. I'm serious when I say that I just don't know what to do anymore... I'm getting very frustrated.
Thanks in advance for any advise.
Answers:
DS went thru a biting phase last spring and I was mortified. Bit 3 kids in one day. Usually he only bit us when he got mad or if he was playing rough. And we could tell, see the signs and prevent it. We'd tell him No biting or We don't bite. The school incidents -- I think he learned from others. And there were signs there to -- He announced at show & tell prior to biting another child "I'm going to bite". Another times someone got to close to him, got in his face and the other time -- lack of supervision -- he bounced across the room in his potty chair and bit the kid next to him.
I'm not saying he's without fault. But there were usually signs to direct his attention elsewhere and avoid the problem. Sometimes, he'd strike so quickly that the victim wouldn't stand a chance.
Eventually it stopped. We found we would tell him no, give him time out and that was it. Continuing to tell him, try to explain to him that he shouldn't bite, just gave him more attention. He got attention -- albeit negative attention if we made a big deal about it.
And eventually, there is kharma. Last summer the teacher was so apologetic 'cuz another child bit DS on the arm.
Answers:
When my daughter went through this what I did was .. say .. teeth are for food, friends arent food.
I also told her that her friends wont want to play with her if she bites them.
I had a whole speech and we talked about it every day on the way to school. It took her about 2 weeks of the everyday but she hasnt bitten anyone in a LONG time.
Good luck!
Answers:
I think patience and consistency are the keys to ending biting. My son, for the longest time, would bite us, the furniture, pillows, whatever he could get his mouth on. He even tried to bite the carpet.
Little ones just don't have the capacity that we, as adults, do to control our emotions. I just kept telling my son every single time that biting is not allowed, and I would turn him around so he couldn't get to me. If he kept trying, I would set him down and walk away.
Stay calm while this is going on. If you're angry and tense, he will sense it and it will only fuel the fire. It isn't easy, trust me, but you can do it.
Good luck!
Answers:
My oldest decided to do this for about a month or two and we tried everything to stop it.it wasn't til my mother in law told us to just(whenever he did this or looked like he was getting ready to)yell out a firm no! grab him by the hand or just pick him up and place him in the corner.no big long talks about it anymore since he obviously,by this time,new darn well what he was doing was just plain wrong and not acceptable,and just let him sit there and stay there until about five minutes had passed by then just ask him if he was sorry.then ask him do you know what you did was wrong?then, are you going to do this again?his usual reply was no.tell him if he wants to be able to play with friends,he knows he cannot do this again,then the hug thing and just telling him you love him but but he DID was very wrong,or very bad.you just need to reiterate at this age that it was not him that was bad it was the behavior that was bad and it just wont be tolerated at all and he will end up in that corner every single time.eventually they get the idea.just be persistant.if you can catch it before,(in the 'pre pounce" phase)and the no,works to stop it,praise him.if it continues on to the actual connection with someones skin,then the no and the corner.honestly,this amazingly worked within about a week.like i said,you have to do it EVERY time you see it.if he still thinks that he can get away with it when you are busy or not really paying attention,he will.it really should not take very long,really.they are pretty smart at that age,and they DO know it is wrong,it just needs to be reinforced and acted on every time and not blown off because you don't have the ideal circumstances.i hope this helps.
Just an FYI? when i was a kid,we had this little boy in the neighborhood who just LOVED to bite.the way my dad handled this was he gave us permission to actually slap the kid in the face anytime he decided to do it to us(me and my sister)after only two times,gee,he just stopped.but then went after the other kids in the neighborhood,go figure.he was a little mommas boy,who of course in her eyes,this kid wore a halo 24/7 so even talking with her was a waste of time.THATS when we were given the permission to defend ourselves.the ONLY time my dad "let us' hit someone.but it worked.
hopefully just by being persistant,your child will get the message soon and just stop the behavior.good luck,marcia
Thanks in advance for any advise.
Answers:
DS went thru a biting phase last spring and I was mortified. Bit 3 kids in one day. Usually he only bit us when he got mad or if he was playing rough. And we could tell, see the signs and prevent it. We'd tell him No biting or We don't bite. The school incidents -- I think he learned from others. And there were signs there to -- He announced at show & tell prior to biting another child "I'm going to bite". Another times someone got to close to him, got in his face and the other time -- lack of supervision -- he bounced across the room in his potty chair and bit the kid next to him.
I'm not saying he's without fault. But there were usually signs to direct his attention elsewhere and avoid the problem. Sometimes, he'd strike so quickly that the victim wouldn't stand a chance.
Eventually it stopped. We found we would tell him no, give him time out and that was it. Continuing to tell him, try to explain to him that he shouldn't bite, just gave him more attention. He got attention -- albeit negative attention if we made a big deal about it.
And eventually, there is kharma. Last summer the teacher was so apologetic 'cuz another child bit DS on the arm.
Answers:
When my daughter went through this what I did was .. say .. teeth are for food, friends arent food.
I also told her that her friends wont want to play with her if she bites them.
I had a whole speech and we talked about it every day on the way to school. It took her about 2 weeks of the everyday but she hasnt bitten anyone in a LONG time.
Good luck!
Answers:
I think patience and consistency are the keys to ending biting. My son, for the longest time, would bite us, the furniture, pillows, whatever he could get his mouth on. He even tried to bite the carpet.
Little ones just don't have the capacity that we, as adults, do to control our emotions. I just kept telling my son every single time that biting is not allowed, and I would turn him around so he couldn't get to me. If he kept trying, I would set him down and walk away.
Stay calm while this is going on. If you're angry and tense, he will sense it and it will only fuel the fire. It isn't easy, trust me, but you can do it.
Good luck!
Answers:
My oldest decided to do this for about a month or two and we tried everything to stop it.it wasn't til my mother in law told us to just(whenever he did this or looked like he was getting ready to)yell out a firm no! grab him by the hand or just pick him up and place him in the corner.no big long talks about it anymore since he obviously,by this time,new darn well what he was doing was just plain wrong and not acceptable,and just let him sit there and stay there until about five minutes had passed by then just ask him if he was sorry.then ask him do you know what you did was wrong?then, are you going to do this again?his usual reply was no.tell him if he wants to be able to play with friends,he knows he cannot do this again,then the hug thing and just telling him you love him but but he DID was very wrong,or very bad.you just need to reiterate at this age that it was not him that was bad it was the behavior that was bad and it just wont be tolerated at all and he will end up in that corner every single time.eventually they get the idea.just be persistant.if you can catch it before,(in the 'pre pounce" phase)and the no,works to stop it,praise him.if it continues on to the actual connection with someones skin,then the no and the corner.honestly,this amazingly worked within about a week.like i said,you have to do it EVERY time you see it.if he still thinks that he can get away with it when you are busy or not really paying attention,he will.it really should not take very long,really.they are pretty smart at that age,and they DO know it is wrong,it just needs to be reinforced and acted on every time and not blown off because you don't have the ideal circumstances.i hope this helps.
Just an FYI? when i was a kid,we had this little boy in the neighborhood who just LOVED to bite.the way my dad handled this was he gave us permission to actually slap the kid in the face anytime he decided to do it to us(me and my sister)after only two times,gee,he just stopped.but then went after the other kids in the neighborhood,go figure.he was a little mommas boy,who of course in her eyes,this kid wore a halo 24/7 so even talking with her was a waste of time.THATS when we were given the permission to defend ourselves.the ONLY time my dad "let us' hit someone.but it worked.
hopefully just by being persistant,your child will get the message soon and just stop the behavior.good luck,marcia