Teenager trouble
My 16 yr old daughter has taken to drinking alcohol. Only on a Friday and Saturday night when she is out with her friends.( she has not yet left school) My husband and i rarely drink so i dont know why she is like this. She comes from a good family, we both work, dont do drugs/smoke/drink. She has come home really drunk and being sick. We have grounded her as last week she didnt come home till very late and we were worried sick, she was drunk. She didnt get home on time Sunday and again on Monday so we grounded her. Tonight she was allowed out till 10pm with her friend and the father was going to drop her home. I then get a phone call to say she is terribly drunk on a train, she had missed her stop, she was being sick on the seat and floor, her friend was with her (thank god) a group of lads were on the train asking her for sex!!!! She got off the train miles away and i told them to stay where they were and i went and got them. My daughter had no intention of getting home on time, she was being sick in the street could hardly stand up. I am almost having a nervous breakdown. i cannot cope with this anymore. I scream at her, i talk nicely to her, i ground her, i try to treat her as an adult,,,, absolutely nothin works. What do i do now,. I am now starting to feel very depressed as i cant go on liveing like this anymore. My husband cant stand it, my younger child hates living at home. For the rest of the week she is a lovely child. But come the weekend she dont give a **** about me and her dad, she does exactly what she wants. She has said i am too over protective, and she will move out if i try to keep ruining her life. When i talk to her she screams at me, plays blaring music to drown me out, slams doors, calls names. She feels that at 16 she should be allowed to hang out on the streets in town till 11pm, i disagree, i feel 10.30pm is the maximum. My god what if these boys on the train had raped her, if it had not been that her friend was with her she was in no state to look after herself. I feel sick with fear every time she goes out, i cant sleep. I really honestly want to walk out of my house and never come back, i cant take it any moreit is constant arguements over her and what she wants to do. No matter what i say she ignores me. If it were not for my younger child i would leave. Has anyone else had this problem, if so how did you deal with it.
Answers:
Talk to her doctor about getting her into treatment. She won't like it at first..she will blame everyone BUT this would be the best thing for her.
I saw first hand what this can do to a family.
I have a family member who was into drugs and drinking and my parents had no choice but to do this...it can tear a family apart.
Your daughter is crying out for help..something is going on in her life to make her act this way..please look into a treatment center for her...a place she can be an inpatient..it will help in the long run...it will be a long tough road but as long as you and her dad are on the same page showing her you are there for her and just let her know how much you love her...she really needs to get help before something bad happens...
Answers:
She wont be able to get treatment as she only goes out at the weekend, she does not touch any alcohol at all in the week. Drs in the UK wont call this a problem, just normal teenage troubles. its only when she is out with her mates on a Friday and Saturday night that she drinks she says she has to drink to give her confidence to go out.!!! Today she is feeling very unwell, lol serves her right. She has not moaned about being grounded, i have grounded her for a month. But after 2 weeks she will be screaming to go out again, threatening to just walk out, then she wont come back and we will be searching the streets for her! This is no life for the rest of the family. She was very lucky not to have been attacked or had an accident last night, she was paraletic. She was sick everywhere in the street,, falling on the floor, she could not even see straight so walked about with her eyes shut.this is so humiliating for all of us but i know im not the only mum out there with this problem. I have told her i am taking her to see her dr but she refuses to go, i cant physically drag her there. I just know that by 2 weeks time things will be back to her getting drunk again.
Answers:
I wonder whether it would help to locate some alcoholics anonymous group and get a few people to talk to her, who have been through it all, who started at her age, so they can tell her all of the horror stories that happened to them or whatever.
Or find someone who needed a liver transplant due to drinking, someone who is on the verge of dying or something, to really really scare her into seeing what her future holds if she doesn't stop this behavior. I think that scaring her might be the only way you can get through to her.
I've heard of parents bringing their excessively promiscuous daughters to an AIDS hospice to meet people who are really sick to show them this can happen to them if they keep having crazy unprotected sex with all these guys.
She's at an age where she's old enough to realize right from wrong. And perhaps scaring her by showing her how serious excessive drinking can be might make her want to stop. I think at this point it's worth a try.
Answers:
Tough Love.
You need to keep her in. If she is going to go out and do that, don't let her go out. If her friends encourage her, don't let her hang out with her friends. Your responsibility as her parent is to keep her safe when you can and to teach her right from wrong. Teenagers are not the smartest people in the world and can make very stupid decisions. As her mother, you need to set ground rules and when she breaks them, you punish her and you don't break that punishment. It stands regardless of anything.
You tell her like it is, end of story. DO NOT argue with her. You are right, she is wrong. When she starts to argue, you ignore it. You just fuel the fire by arguing back. Let her know that when she can sit down and talk to you in a calm manner like an adult, you will listen to her.
This may sound harsh, but for some teenagers, it's the only way. Hopefully, it is just a phase that she is going through, but the dangers of what she is doing are a huge deal. She could easily wind up dead on the side of the road.
It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be fun, and yes, so many parents go through this with their teenager. You have to be the parent that steps up and gives out the tough love.
Save your daughter from herself.
Answers:
Talk to her doctor about getting her into treatment. She won't like it at first..she will blame everyone BUT this would be the best thing for her.
I saw first hand what this can do to a family.
I have a family member who was into drugs and drinking and my parents had no choice but to do this...it can tear a family apart.
Your daughter is crying out for help..something is going on in her life to make her act this way..please look into a treatment center for her...a place she can be an inpatient..it will help in the long run...it will be a long tough road but as long as you and her dad are on the same page showing her you are there for her and just let her know how much you love her...she really needs to get help before something bad happens...
Answers:
She wont be able to get treatment as she only goes out at the weekend, she does not touch any alcohol at all in the week. Drs in the UK wont call this a problem, just normal teenage troubles. its only when she is out with her mates on a Friday and Saturday night that she drinks she says she has to drink to give her confidence to go out.!!! Today she is feeling very unwell, lol serves her right. She has not moaned about being grounded, i have grounded her for a month. But after 2 weeks she will be screaming to go out again, threatening to just walk out, then she wont come back and we will be searching the streets for her! This is no life for the rest of the family. She was very lucky not to have been attacked or had an accident last night, she was paraletic. She was sick everywhere in the street,, falling on the floor, she could not even see straight so walked about with her eyes shut.this is so humiliating for all of us but i know im not the only mum out there with this problem. I have told her i am taking her to see her dr but she refuses to go, i cant physically drag her there. I just know that by 2 weeks time things will be back to her getting drunk again.
Answers:
I wonder whether it would help to locate some alcoholics anonymous group and get a few people to talk to her, who have been through it all, who started at her age, so they can tell her all of the horror stories that happened to them or whatever.
Or find someone who needed a liver transplant due to drinking, someone who is on the verge of dying or something, to really really scare her into seeing what her future holds if she doesn't stop this behavior. I think that scaring her might be the only way you can get through to her.
I've heard of parents bringing their excessively promiscuous daughters to an AIDS hospice to meet people who are really sick to show them this can happen to them if they keep having crazy unprotected sex with all these guys.
She's at an age where she's old enough to realize right from wrong. And perhaps scaring her by showing her how serious excessive drinking can be might make her want to stop. I think at this point it's worth a try.
Answers:
Tough Love.
You need to keep her in. If she is going to go out and do that, don't let her go out. If her friends encourage her, don't let her hang out with her friends. Your responsibility as her parent is to keep her safe when you can and to teach her right from wrong. Teenagers are not the smartest people in the world and can make very stupid decisions. As her mother, you need to set ground rules and when she breaks them, you punish her and you don't break that punishment. It stands regardless of anything.
You tell her like it is, end of story. DO NOT argue with her. You are right, she is wrong. When she starts to argue, you ignore it. You just fuel the fire by arguing back. Let her know that when she can sit down and talk to you in a calm manner like an adult, you will listen to her.
This may sound harsh, but for some teenagers, it's the only way. Hopefully, it is just a phase that she is going through, but the dangers of what she is doing are a huge deal. She could easily wind up dead on the side of the road.
It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be fun, and yes, so many parents go through this with their teenager. You have to be the parent that steps up and gives out the tough love.
Save your daughter from herself.