Single mom looking for help
I'm a single mother of a one-year-old boy and have a couple questions regarding my situation. I'm currently living in a small two-bedroom apartment (with a roommate) that I was able to afford off savings. In two months, when my lease is up, I'm not sure where I'll be living since I don't have enough saved up for another 12-month lease. I've considered getting a job, except I can't afford daycare and in my county, you can't get assistance unless you already have a job or are in school. I plan on starting school this fall though. I just don't know how I will be able to keep living on my own. I wont have the time to do school and work since I dont get any help with my son. Any advice on what I should do? I know little about section 8 and if that's the path I should take, where do I start? That brings me to my second issue, why I wont move in with family. My parents have been terrible about helping me through being a single mom. They would rather I go on welfair and food stamps before helping me. That isnt the main reason I dont want to live with them though. The problem is their dog. Now I normally wouldnt care about their pets, except I go to their house daily to do research on the internet (for school and jobs) since I dont have it at my apartment. They rescued a dog from a shelter before my son was born and supposedly the dog had been put out for snapping at a baby. When my son was born, sure enough the dog would bare it's teeth and snarl at my kid. My parents tell me that it's my fault for letting my son go up and play with the dog. He doesnt know any better though and it happens the minute I turn my back. They told me they'll feel sorry for me if my kid ends up getting bit (since of course it would be my fault) I just dont think a dog should be made domestic if it's that unstable. I told my mom I would report the dog if it ever bit my child and she yelled at me. Is it truly my responsibility to keep my child away from the dog, or is it their responsiblity to get rid of a dangerous animal?
Answers:
Honey, it's your responsibility. He's your son. I worked dog rescue for many years and ran into this often. It is not if, it is when this dog bites your son. I feel it's up to you because you are in their home and know how they feel about getting rid of the dog. Go to the library or somewhere else to do your research stuff...it's better than a life of a scarred and scared little boy.
You know this dog is dangerous and yet you turn your back? That's insane...do not leave your son anywhere near this animal...it will bite him...the question is, how much damage will it do to him?
Your parents sound odd and like they may be a bit too much trouble. You should go talk to your local welfare dept. and see about what services you qualify for....that's why they are there. It is not up to your parents to take care of you any more. You are out of their home, have a child and are now an adult. You need to make the hard choices and if that means asking a local agency for help, that's what you need to do.
They can help you with food, housing, daycare, schooling, everything...and last time I heard, they don't bite! LOL The dog at mom's house will....you're better off with staying away from them and handling this yourself. It's not easy, but when we choose to have children, we no longer are able to make decisions without thinking of the consequences.
Good luck and talk to them soon. It takes some time to get it all figured out and you need to do it now.
Answers:
Thats insane! why on earth would any grandparents keep a dangerous dog! I totally agree with you, thats terrible.
I'd go to your local welfair office and see if they can help you out untill you can start school again and get some help with daycare. Best of luck to you hun
Answers:
It's usually your local Housing Authority that issues Section 8 housing certificates and manages Public Housing. Usually there is a waiting list ... you will need to apply right away. If your community has a community action agency, also check there for help. Sometimes they help with one month's rent or a deposit, and sometimes they can even help with furniture (generally used). If you are unable to find housing right away, check on shelters. In some communities, those who are "homeless" are given a priority with Section 8, but not with all communities. Although you may feel that you do not want to go on welfare, it is an option. Get your education while you are young. I have two teenagers and have done it pretty much on my own and I wish I would have gone on welfare while I was younger and received my education rather than working to try to "better" myself. Although I have a mortgage and a full-time job, I wonder how I am going to be able to keep my house, and, thus, have a place for my children to come home to after they've become adults if they should need to once the child support stops, whereas one of my friends who was on welfare went to college and now is much better off financially than I am.
Your parents seem that they have given their dog priority over their grandchild. Any non-idiot realizes that a one-year old does not have the capacity to know what they should and shouldn't do. I would agree with the previous poster ... go somewhere else to do your research and such. If you are unable to do that, will your child stay in a playpen for a while close to you?
Answers:
I actually went to my local 'job and family service' center and they didnt even inform me of section 8. I found out about it through a friend. As I said I dont know much if anything about it. Just that its low income housing?
As far as my parents go, yes they are 'odd' as one person stated, but this isnt something that surprises me either. Im still young (I was a teenager when I got pregnant) and I guess thats why I hoped they'd still help me. Now I dont mean just financially, I meant emotionally too. For example they wont even babysit my son in order for me to go to an interview or visit a college. As I said that doesnt surprise me though, I was just worried about their dog. I dont just sit there and let DS play with it, but occassionally I will turn around and either the dog will come into the room or my son will run out. Realistically I dont spend 24/7 holding my son and Im not use to taking him with me when I go to the bathroom and whatnot...thats all
Answers:
Honey, it's your responsibility. He's your son. I worked dog rescue for many years and ran into this often. It is not if, it is when this dog bites your son. I feel it's up to you because you are in their home and know how they feel about getting rid of the dog. Go to the library or somewhere else to do your research stuff...it's better than a life of a scarred and scared little boy.
You know this dog is dangerous and yet you turn your back? That's insane...do not leave your son anywhere near this animal...it will bite him...the question is, how much damage will it do to him?
Your parents sound odd and like they may be a bit too much trouble. You should go talk to your local welfare dept. and see about what services you qualify for....that's why they are there. It is not up to your parents to take care of you any more. You are out of their home, have a child and are now an adult. You need to make the hard choices and if that means asking a local agency for help, that's what you need to do.
They can help you with food, housing, daycare, schooling, everything...and last time I heard, they don't bite! LOL The dog at mom's house will....you're better off with staying away from them and handling this yourself. It's not easy, but when we choose to have children, we no longer are able to make decisions without thinking of the consequences.
Good luck and talk to them soon. It takes some time to get it all figured out and you need to do it now.
Answers:
Thats insane! why on earth would any grandparents keep a dangerous dog! I totally agree with you, thats terrible.
I'd go to your local welfair office and see if they can help you out untill you can start school again and get some help with daycare. Best of luck to you hun
Answers:
It's usually your local Housing Authority that issues Section 8 housing certificates and manages Public Housing. Usually there is a waiting list ... you will need to apply right away. If your community has a community action agency, also check there for help. Sometimes they help with one month's rent or a deposit, and sometimes they can even help with furniture (generally used). If you are unable to find housing right away, check on shelters. In some communities, those who are "homeless" are given a priority with Section 8, but not with all communities. Although you may feel that you do not want to go on welfare, it is an option. Get your education while you are young. I have two teenagers and have done it pretty much on my own and I wish I would have gone on welfare while I was younger and received my education rather than working to try to "better" myself. Although I have a mortgage and a full-time job, I wonder how I am going to be able to keep my house, and, thus, have a place for my children to come home to after they've become adults if they should need to once the child support stops, whereas one of my friends who was on welfare went to college and now is much better off financially than I am.
Your parents seem that they have given their dog priority over their grandchild. Any non-idiot realizes that a one-year old does not have the capacity to know what they should and shouldn't do. I would agree with the previous poster ... go somewhere else to do your research and such. If you are unable to do that, will your child stay in a playpen for a while close to you?
Answers:
I actually went to my local 'job and family service' center and they didnt even inform me of section 8. I found out about it through a friend. As I said I dont know much if anything about it. Just that its low income housing?
As far as my parents go, yes they are 'odd' as one person stated, but this isnt something that surprises me either. Im still young (I was a teenager when I got pregnant) and I guess thats why I hoped they'd still help me. Now I dont mean just financially, I meant emotionally too. For example they wont even babysit my son in order for me to go to an interview or visit a college. As I said that doesnt surprise me though, I was just worried about their dog. I dont just sit there and let DS play with it, but occassionally I will turn around and either the dog will come into the room or my son will run out. Realistically I dont spend 24/7 holding my son and Im not use to taking him with me when I go to the bathroom and whatnot...thats all