How do I help my 3 yr old adjust?
My 3 yr old daughter will talk your ear off at home, talks to anyone that will listen to her when we are out in public, loves to be the center of attention, & is very outgoing. UNTIL.....she is exposed to other chidren her age.
SHe has been in MDO for 2 years and this problem only seems to be getting worse. When she is in her class with 2-3 kids her age she seems quiet, but will still interact with them to a small point. If there are more than 5 children she allianates herself completely. She will stand as far away from them as she can get (usually in a corner) and suck her thumb, stare at the floor, and rock back and forth on her feet. Her teachers and I have tried many methods of trying to get her interact and she will have no part of it.
I expressed my concerns to her Daddy and he thought she was just acting "shy". I could not explain it to him to the point that her understood what I was talking about. He took off of work and came to her class to see it for himself and he is just as concearned aboout it as I am. I have a call in to her pediatrician to see if she should be evaluated or not. Her last day of MDO was thursday & I wish I had taken some video of her to show the Dr.
She was born 2 months early and she had some sensory issues for a while, but had pretty much outgrown them by her 1st birthday. I am not sure if this is a sensory issue or not. The only thing that makes me think it is not sensory is the fact that she has been to several get togethers w/20-30 people around (adults) and she is her normal little entertaing self. It only seems to happen around other children.
I have noticed that loud noises seem to bother her and shee will tell me. At times it is OK to have the stereo on in the car and then there are times that she screems until it is turned off. Same goes for the vacume, blow dryer, mixer...etc. I just never really put all of this together until the other night.
If there is anyone that has any advise for me I would appreciate it so very much.
K~
Answers:
I don't really have any advice persay, but I have a 3 year old little girl who was the same way. She is very verbally advanced and intellectual for her age according to her Pedi. I asked her about why my little girl would have no problems at all with adults but wasn't really interested in other kids 2-3 years old like her. She told me that because our daughter is being raised in a home with an 11 year old brother and 2 parents who don't baby talk with her, but talk to her in a solid conversation that basically my daughter doesn't have much to say to kids her age. She said that she was unable to relate to them due to the fact that she's really only been around adults for her short 3 years.
She told me to get her out more with kids her age and eventually, gradually she would start to develop some sort of social ability with children her own age. She's been doing pretty good, I've been taking her to the park every chance I get and she still prefers to play alone, but will find herself in with a group of other children having fun. She'll run over to me and tell me "Mom, I would like you to meet my friends".
She just turned 3 in March, so I'm not sure what we're going to do about preschool or anything, but I think my Pedi was right, just keep plugging away at it. Eventually she will understand that these little people her size are WAY more fun than us big people.
Good Luck.
Answers:
That makes alot of sense. Although there is not an older sibling here with her,we have never baby talked to her. & Now that you have mentioned this....she does seem to treat the few kids her age that she is around like they are too silly for her. She would much rather be at the "adult table". I will definately try your suggestion.
This sounds much better than what I thought the underlying problem is. She seems to fit the profile of a child with selective mutism. A mild case of it anyway. Jus tthe way she turns into a whole other child when she is put into anytype of controlled environment with other kids. Such as MDO, dance, birthday party activities, etc.
I know this sounds a bit extreme, but I am going to give her some time and see if she can relax a little around other children over the summer.
Thankyou so much for you advice. We will for sure give it a try.
K~
Answers:
You might want to check to see if your daughter has Asperger's. She has a lot of the symptoms: social awkwardness, sensory issues, extremely talkative about things that interest her, ability to get along well with adults but not peers, the fact that she rocks and does other "stimming" activities when she is forced to be in a situation that she finds stressful. I have Asperger's myself, and I, too, talked a lot to adults as a child, but never got along with peers (and still don't), so if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Good luck, and God bless!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Answers:
Gatsbyluvr1920,
I did a quick search on Asperger's and you seem to be on to something here. I have also been checking into Selective Mutism as well. She seems to fit a lot of the symptoms for both. I have talked with the Chidrens Study Center here in OK & they feel that she needs to be evaluated, but the only problem is that we have a $3,000 mental health deductable and from what I understand, they can not really even 100% DX her. Money is not an issue here, we will do what ever it takes to help our daughter, but talking to others such as yourself sure would be helpfull in deciding what steps need to be taken next.
It is so nice to be able to talk to someone who understands what she is like in certain situations. It is so hard to explain. She is so outgoing around our friends that they act like I am crazy having any type of concerns when it comes to her fear of MDO and a fw other situations.
Would you mind sharing with me your issues that you have and have had as a child with Asperger's. I want to understand Riley's feelings so I can help her learn to deal with them. I am not sure if we need to force her into MDO again or if we should back off. I just do not know what to do at this point.
Thank you so very much for reaching out to help me. It really means a lot!!
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
Kim
SHe has been in MDO for 2 years and this problem only seems to be getting worse. When she is in her class with 2-3 kids her age she seems quiet, but will still interact with them to a small point. If there are more than 5 children she allianates herself completely. She will stand as far away from them as she can get (usually in a corner) and suck her thumb, stare at the floor, and rock back and forth on her feet. Her teachers and I have tried many methods of trying to get her interact and she will have no part of it.
I expressed my concerns to her Daddy and he thought she was just acting "shy". I could not explain it to him to the point that her understood what I was talking about. He took off of work and came to her class to see it for himself and he is just as concearned aboout it as I am. I have a call in to her pediatrician to see if she should be evaluated or not. Her last day of MDO was thursday & I wish I had taken some video of her to show the Dr.
She was born 2 months early and she had some sensory issues for a while, but had pretty much outgrown them by her 1st birthday. I am not sure if this is a sensory issue or not. The only thing that makes me think it is not sensory is the fact that she has been to several get togethers w/20-30 people around (adults) and she is her normal little entertaing self. It only seems to happen around other children.
I have noticed that loud noises seem to bother her and shee will tell me. At times it is OK to have the stereo on in the car and then there are times that she screems until it is turned off. Same goes for the vacume, blow dryer, mixer...etc. I just never really put all of this together until the other night.
If there is anyone that has any advise for me I would appreciate it so very much.
K~
Answers:
I don't really have any advice persay, but I have a 3 year old little girl who was the same way. She is very verbally advanced and intellectual for her age according to her Pedi. I asked her about why my little girl would have no problems at all with adults but wasn't really interested in other kids 2-3 years old like her. She told me that because our daughter is being raised in a home with an 11 year old brother and 2 parents who don't baby talk with her, but talk to her in a solid conversation that basically my daughter doesn't have much to say to kids her age. She said that she was unable to relate to them due to the fact that she's really only been around adults for her short 3 years.
She told me to get her out more with kids her age and eventually, gradually she would start to develop some sort of social ability with children her own age. She's been doing pretty good, I've been taking her to the park every chance I get and she still prefers to play alone, but will find herself in with a group of other children having fun. She'll run over to me and tell me "Mom, I would like you to meet my friends".
She just turned 3 in March, so I'm not sure what we're going to do about preschool or anything, but I think my Pedi was right, just keep plugging away at it. Eventually she will understand that these little people her size are WAY more fun than us big people.
Good Luck.
Answers:
That makes alot of sense. Although there is not an older sibling here with her,we have never baby talked to her. & Now that you have mentioned this....she does seem to treat the few kids her age that she is around like they are too silly for her. She would much rather be at the "adult table". I will definately try your suggestion.
This sounds much better than what I thought the underlying problem is. She seems to fit the profile of a child with selective mutism. A mild case of it anyway. Jus tthe way she turns into a whole other child when she is put into anytype of controlled environment with other kids. Such as MDO, dance, birthday party activities, etc.
I know this sounds a bit extreme, but I am going to give her some time and see if she can relax a little around other children over the summer.
Thankyou so much for you advice. We will for sure give it a try.
K~
Answers:
You might want to check to see if your daughter has Asperger's. She has a lot of the symptoms: social awkwardness, sensory issues, extremely talkative about things that interest her, ability to get along well with adults but not peers, the fact that she rocks and does other "stimming" activities when she is forced to be in a situation that she finds stressful. I have Asperger's myself, and I, too, talked a lot to adults as a child, but never got along with peers (and still don't), so if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Good luck, and God bless!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Answers:
Gatsbyluvr1920,
I did a quick search on Asperger's and you seem to be on to something here. I have also been checking into Selective Mutism as well. She seems to fit a lot of the symptoms for both. I have talked with the Chidrens Study Center here in OK & they feel that she needs to be evaluated, but the only problem is that we have a $3,000 mental health deductable and from what I understand, they can not really even 100% DX her. Money is not an issue here, we will do what ever it takes to help our daughter, but talking to others such as yourself sure would be helpfull in deciding what steps need to be taken next.
It is so nice to be able to talk to someone who understands what she is like in certain situations. It is so hard to explain. She is so outgoing around our friends that they act like I am crazy having any type of concerns when it comes to her fear of MDO and a fw other situations.
Would you mind sharing with me your issues that you have and have had as a child with Asperger's. I want to understand Riley's feelings so I can help her learn to deal with them. I am not sure if we need to force her into MDO again or if we should back off. I just do not know what to do at this point.
Thank you so very much for reaching out to help me. It really means a lot!!
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
Kim