I'm 26...should my bf be allowed to sleep over?
Hi. I'm 26 years old and have started dating a guy about 3 weeks ago. This weekend was the first time he slept over. I didn't know it at the time, but my mother was royally pissed that I let him sleep over. The reason I let him sleep over was because he lives 45 minutes away and we were at a friends place and he was drinking. So instead of having him sleep at my friends place, I asked if he wanted to stay at my place. I didn't think my parents would care as they had let my past bfs sleep over (one lived an hour away and apparantely they were mad when another bf slept over too, but only I just found out). My bf and I haven't had sex, only because I've been on my period for about 2.5 weeks (wrote about that issue under the women's health board). I know we would have had sex lots of times if I wasn't. But when my mother told me last night that she didn't like him sleeping over I told her we haven't had sex. She told me she didn't believe me. I freaked and told her we couldn't anyways becuase of my situation. But she pretty much made me feel like a **** or something. I've never slept around. I've only ever slept with serious boyfriends and I've only ever had 5 boyfriends since I was 18. For a quick background, my mother dated a guy less than 1 year after her divorce with my dad, and he moved in less than one year after being together...IN THE SAME BEDROOM . They lived together for more than 10 years before getting married.
How can I convince my mother that I'm 26 years old, I can make mature decisions about my life, and convince her that there shouldn't be a problem with my boyfriends sleeping over? Look what she did. I know it's her house and I'm "living under her roof" but I'm an adult. He's 27. What is the problem?
Answers:
Sorry, but I'm of the "while you're under her roof, you have to abide by her rules" school. If you find her rules intolerable, consider getting a place of your own.
Answers:
Sorry, but I'm of the "while you're under her roof, you have to abide by her rules" school. If you find her rules intolerable, consider getting a place of your own.
I had planned on moving into my friends basement in the spring next year, however, since I know my mom could use the money, instead of giving my friends the $300 per month to live in their basement, I would pay my mom to stay there. Then that would change me from her child living there for free to a person paying room and board. Wouldn't that mean I should be able to do what I wanted?
And you may be old school, but she's a hypocrite. She won't let my sister or I have bf's sleep over (and my sister's dated her bf for 5.5 years now), however she lived with her bf for over 10 years, and only after dating for less than 1 year.
Answers:
Even if you pay money to your mother she won't treat you any different. You are "a baby" to her no matter how old are you. My parents would be very uncomfi with me sleeping with bf under same roof as well and a lot of people I know.
What she allows herself is different since she is an adult. Adults can drink and smoke why kids can't. Same mentality.
I'd suggest you to leave separetly if you can.
Answers:
So go sleep with your boyfriend at his place if it's really that important? Yes, you're twenty-six years old, but it's still your mother's house. I've known unwed thirty-something year olds who had long-since moved away from home and were not permitted to share a bedroom with their significant other while staying at their parents' house. If your independence and privacy and your right to live like an adult and have your boyfriend sleep over is important to you, then get your own place. Just because you give your mother money does not change the fact that you're still her daughter and not just a tenent living in her house.
How can I convince my mother that I'm 26 years old, I can make mature decisions about my life, and convince her that there shouldn't be a problem with my boyfriends sleeping over? Look what she did. I know it's her house and I'm "living under her roof" but I'm an adult. He's 27. What is the problem?
Answers:
Sorry, but I'm of the "while you're under her roof, you have to abide by her rules" school. If you find her rules intolerable, consider getting a place of your own.
Answers:
Sorry, but I'm of the "while you're under her roof, you have to abide by her rules" school. If you find her rules intolerable, consider getting a place of your own.
I had planned on moving into my friends basement in the spring next year, however, since I know my mom could use the money, instead of giving my friends the $300 per month to live in their basement, I would pay my mom to stay there. Then that would change me from her child living there for free to a person paying room and board. Wouldn't that mean I should be able to do what I wanted?
And you may be old school, but she's a hypocrite. She won't let my sister or I have bf's sleep over (and my sister's dated her bf for 5.5 years now), however she lived with her bf for over 10 years, and only after dating for less than 1 year.
Answers:
Even if you pay money to your mother she won't treat you any different. You are "a baby" to her no matter how old are you. My parents would be very uncomfi with me sleeping with bf under same roof as well and a lot of people I know.
What she allows herself is different since she is an adult. Adults can drink and smoke why kids can't. Same mentality.
I'd suggest you to leave separetly if you can.
Answers:
So go sleep with your boyfriend at his place if it's really that important? Yes, you're twenty-six years old, but it's still your mother's house. I've known unwed thirty-something year olds who had long-since moved away from home and were not permitted to share a bedroom with their significant other while staying at their parents' house. If your independence and privacy and your right to live like an adult and have your boyfriend sleep over is important to you, then get your own place. Just because you give your mother money does not change the fact that you're still her daughter and not just a tenent living in her house.